Welcome To Crazy Land
By: Tony Tripoli
Dealing with your parents as an adult can be even trickier than when you were a kid. And, some of us certainly do better than others. Since I am a stand-up comic, I talk about my folks on stage, so, you can imagine some of the fun conversations we’ve had as a result.
I just finished a run of my one man show, TONY TRIPOLI : I SHIT MY PANTS! (An evening of sophisticated stand up), and for my Father’s birthday, he wanted to come to L.A., and see the show.
You are probably looking at your computer right now, yelling: “Don’t do it, Moron”, but I cannot hear you, and this was a week ago, so shut up. Besides, you’re the one yelling at your computer, so, maybe you’re the moron.
So, I flew Dad in last weekend. I got him a hotel, and on the way to check in, he starts:
Dad: I don’t need a hotel, Son.
Me: It’ll be better.
Dad: But, I can just stay at your place.
Me: This is better.
Dad: I’ll just sleep on the couch.
Me: This is better.
Dad: That way, I’ll be there in the morning when you wake up, and we’ll have so much more time together.
Me: This is better for ME.
I took him to the hotel.
That night, we went to the Arclight to see a movie, which he chose. The film was called “Chloe”, and since Julianne Moore was the star, I was totally in, in spite of not knowing anything else about it. I’ll try not to ruin it, but, it’s a big piece of crap, and you should skip it. Basically, Julianne suspects her husband, Liam Neeson is cheating, so she hires a hooker, Amanda Seyfried, to hit on him, and report back. Good idea, but, it quickly unravels into a straight man’s idea of how female sexuality works, and Julianne gets so jealous of her husband’s encounters with Amanda, she seduces Amanda, and they have this really long, very naked, lesbian sex scene that no gay guy should have to watch sitting next to his straight father, okay?!
The next day, Dad came to see my show, which is an hour and a half of stand up. Lots of naughty dating stories, and more than one tale of having an accident in my pants. Really, I think the Pulitzer folks will be calling me any day…
My father laughed a lot, and told me he was very proud afterward, which is so sweet.
Then, the next morning, as I drove him to the airport, he said “Son, I couldn’t sleep last night, thinking about something you said on stage”. Oh shit, I thought. Here it comes.
“You said that your parents don’t ‘get it’, and I just want you to know, I’m so sorry”.
My Dad is wonderful, you guys. He’s affectionate, caring, interested, and involved. And, when I speak, he really listens. Even if I’m on stage in a room full of strangers, telling poop jokes. He really is the greatest.
I explained that I was only making a little joke about how all adult children feel like there parents don’t ‘get it’ sometimes, but that I wasn’t trying to hurt his feelings, and I was glad he told me.
Dealing with your parents can be tricky, but, it’s always worth it. And, sometimes, just like when you were a kid, it makes you a better person.