Welcome To Crazy Land

By: Tony Tripoli

The creator of Jersey Shore slipped to the Hollywood Reporter that she puts the whole cast on Valtrex, a popular herpes medication, going so far as to call the cast “A Herpes Nest”.

But, the kids are growing up. Pretty soon, it will be time to spread their legs and fly…

Prada is about to release these canvas “Budget Bags”, which will sell for ONLY $295 each.

They will look especially chic at the unemployment office, the food stamp office, or the free clinic.

Danielle Staub, of the New Jersey Housewives and “Prostitution Whore!” fame, is about to get famous-er. A 75-minute sex tape, allegedly made last September, is going on sale next week.

And, apparently, this came as a shock to Danielle…I mean, look at her eyebrows. They actually stayed that way…

The Bachelor Pad, the newest show from the Bachelor franchise, is currently taping, and will air later this year.
It reunites the show’s most unforgettable contestants, most of whom I’ve long since forgotten about, and lets them compete in “challenges”.

You know, like getting famous again.

Holly Madison, whose new show, Holly’s World, premiered this week, is writing a book about Las Vegas, and its lesser known roadside attractions.

Basically, places that aren’t casinos where you can get wasted and fuck.

Here’s J-Wow, from Jersey Shore.

And, her cantaloupes.

She’s wearing a dress (ish) from her new collection, FILTHY COUTURE, which she promises will be available to everyone with cash soon.

Which makes sense, cause she looks like she’s available to anyone with cash now.

By the way, if you don’t want me to call ‘em cantaloupes, don’t make ‘em orange.

In spite of being quoted as saying “I don’t believe in doing something you don’t believe in to make money… like a makeup campaign or something like that,” actress and smarty-pants Natalie Portman has signed on to be the new face of Parfums Christian Dior.

At least college girl is smart enough to know how to properly spell “hypocrite”…

This outfit makes Rihanna look so tiny…. Oh, it’s Willow Smith, Jaden Smith’s sister, at his Karate Kid premiere?

Dang. Something tells me that when this kid tells you to get her a Bouncin’ Berry Capri Sun, you better not come back with a Hawaiian Punch, or you’ll get a miniature boot in your ass. That she just used
to squash out her Newport.

Tony Tripoli
tonytripoli.com

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2 Responses to “Welcome To Crazy Land”
  1. Madge says:

    I don’t know these people at all or follow any of them. But I did see Willow on Oprah I think and that whole family is so affected-it makes me nauseous to watch them on TV. And Willow seems too old and so about herself (can you say narcissistic already) and that Jaden thinks his shit doesn’t smell and he is a young kid. Sad. They present as these structured parents with rules but if my my child or grandchild went out looking like Willow at her age I would make her change.

  2. brandy says:

    This was seriously hilarious. I just about died with the Rihanna comment. You are a joy!

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