VIVA Mexico… oh wait, I’m not going anywhere

By: Allison Norris

One of my best friends is getting married in September and decided to have her bachelorette party in Cabo San Lucas. I wasn’t sure if I could swing it financially, so I held out until salty margaritas on the beach were haunting me in my sleep and Baylor’s shriek would snap me into a sea breeze. I bought the flight with a credit card and would figure out the rest when the time came to board my flight… sans baby.

The girls (11 of them) were ecstatic and I felt like my tank had been filled even with just the idea of going on a 6-day vacation with girls and no child. I was imagining what sleeping in would be like day after day… staying up until the wee hours of the morning drenched with sweat because we’d danced so hard. My favorite waiter would bring me a strong alcoholic beverage followed by a refreshing limonada all day long so that my afternoon nap would be solid.

I packed my bags for my Thursday morning flight – we were all getting to the airport at 5:30am to board and not get off of the plane until we reached paradise. Tons of bikinis and a few dresses later, I was packed. The only thing that would be terrible to forget would be my passport… better grab it!

Where is it? It’s not in the bag that I’ve had it in with all of my other important documents for the last 10 years… hmm. Better check that box over there.

Nope.

What about this file folder?

No luck.

Panic.

Where in the HELL could it be?

Under the bed?

The last time I used it was two years ago when I went on my first and last vacation with the NFL player to Mexico. I’ve lived in 5 different houses since then… I am sure it’s just in a purse or something, right?
I tore my house apart. It looked like someone had ransacked and robbed me. Finally, at 10pm on the eve of my vacation, I threw in the towel.

My bff Gena called me and suggested that I change my flight to Friday, get my ass to the Federal building downtown on Thursday, and get a passport expedited. It would cost me $200 for the new passport, but a vacay with my 11 besties was priceless. It was worth a shot!

The alaska air lady told me that it would only be $325 to change my flight to the next day… I wasn’t going.

I went to bed, broken hearted, praying that I would receive a message from God or someone in my dreams detailing where my passport was hiding.

Bay made his first noises at 6:30 and I noticed my phone blinking. Gena had called several times and then left me a detailed text explaining that she had worked it with the alaska rep at the desk and that she had my flight changed FOR FREE to Friday morning, returning a day later as well. She told me to get down to that federal building and get myself a passport!!!

I made my appointment, went to walgreen’s for passport photos, talked my dad through scanning my birth certificate, remembered a check, and was out the door with time to spare. I found parking and made my way inside the huge building. I was greeted by an officer checking IDs and controlling the metal detector.

“ID please…”

I handed it over with a smile.

“8-2?” He asked?

“Yep!” I replied, expecting a Happy Birthday, Miss.

“This is expired. The department of licensing is two blocks up. Good luck.”

I laughed. Of course it was expired.

I made my way the two blocks to the DOL and was greeted by a room packed with people. Four measly stations were accepting people and I was directed to take a number.

151. I was number 151… ok, not bad… what number are they on?

68.

Shit.

I have now missed my appointment for my passport, am supposed to be on the beach in 24 hours, my bags are packed and I am fucked.

I returned to my car and drove home. No Mexico for this mamacita.