By: Kelly Rummelhart
When you decide to proceed with another surrogacy journey, you go through lots of emotions. You are excited about the prospect of helping create another family, you get giddy when you receive the profile of the Intended Parents, and you get nervous for the match meeting. A less expected emotion you might go through is guilt. You start to wonder what your past Intended Parents will think. Will they be upset? Jealous? Unphased? Will they think of you differently?
I remember when Growing Generations asked if I would do a second surrogacy. Honestly, I knew I wanted to but was afraid what George and Sanj would think. I didn’t want them thinking that my decision to proceed made me feel any different about them. I didn’t want them to think that the reason I was going again was to “fill a void” left from them. They were perfect Intended Parents and had become very close to me and my family, and I didn’t want to tarnish that in the slightest.
Actually, I had decided before I even left the hospital after my surro-girlies were born, that I would love to be a surrogate again. I knew that George and Sanj didn’t want to have any more babies –two girls was what they were wishing for- and my uterus granted that wish! However, before moving on I needed to make sure that their family was in fact complete. When I asked, they laughed and said that they were good. I mentioned perhaps proceeding with someone else and they were fine with that, in fact a little excited. The same thing happened when I was debating going Round Three. I asked myself what all my IPs would think and made sure that I called them to talk about it all.
A perfect analogy: I have 3 children; they are all different but I love them them all. I remember when I was pregnant with Preston (my middle child). I wondered, is there any way I could love him as much as Ruby? At the time it didn’t seem possible, but I did. I love my youngest child, Sawyer too. My Intended Parents are the same. I remember pondering if I would I feel the same for my second set of IPs. It didn’t seem possible but I found out that my heart was big enough for all four of them, and I’m sure there’s room in there for two more future dads.
Kelly Rummelhart writes about her experiences as a two-time gestational surrogate for gay couples. She calls herself a “Uterine Activist” and will be the first to tell you that her uterus is an ally. Kelly also writes at Just The Stork