My IzzyB

By: Heather Somaini

Everyone writes about being thankful, grateful around this time of year and I won’t be any exception.  It’s just too easy and feels like the right thing to do.

It’s been a rough twelve months.  Not the kind of rough when you’re diagnosed with cancer or your world gets turned upside down because someone close to you dies.  It wasn’t the earth shattering kind.  It was just the normal, life comes at you from lots of angles kind of rough.

In early December last year we started to get a sprinkling that would soon become a full blown hurricane.  The teachers at our pre-school let us know that they were going to make some adjustments to our daughter’s schedule to see if it would smooth out some recently noticed issues.  At first it just seemed that she was quiet and maybe had a fiery personality but it was quickly turning into more than that.  Soon she was refusing to speak and having full blown temper tantrums at school which could lead to hitting her brother, screaming, throwing things, and a quirky habit of stripping all of her clothes off.  We didn’t understand why it was happening at school and not at home.

Soon one meeting at the school turned into many.  There was a lot of pressure to have her tested for a “processing issue” – whatever that was.  It was an incredibly difficult time and nothing seemed to get easier.  If anything, things just got worse.  Soon our entire family felt as if it was being torn apart at the seams.  Free was desperate to protect his sister at school and wouldn’t leave her side, Tere and I had already been struggling to keep us together through this life-altering experience of parenting and now we felt completely at odds with the school that had come to mean so much to us.

Against many people’s advice but bowing to the pressure we felt we were under, we had Izzy observed and the result wasn’t what we had hoped.  The therapist said something was definitely wrong although she had no idea what it really was.  At this early stage, she said it could be a number of things that none of us had any control over.  The next step was to have her tested for language and speech but we had to wait a couple of months until she turned four.  In the meantime, we re-arranged our schedules, created new house rules and began to focus on Izzy.  When she was finally tested, she scored lower than she should in a few areas and twice a week speech therapy was recommended.  We worked closely with the school to find any area that we could help Izzy understand her world better.  Soon progress was noticeable.  So much so that the teachers asked if we could have her observed again. Sure enough, the therapist said that massive, beautiful improvement had taken place but we were still a long ways away from where she should be.

In the past year, Izzy has worked diligently at everything we have all asked her to do.  Her language skills were recently re-tested and she is exactly where she should be.  Her graduation ceremony from speech therapy was last week.  We all had cupcakes and she received a certificate.  Her speech therapist adored her and I think actually had to sneak away into her office as we left to have a good cry.  We’re not completely out of the woods and will probably have to re-visit different therapists from time to time as Izzy grows and grapples with new concepts and challenges, but she’s on the right path.

I am grateful for my daughter.  She is beautiful and delightful and perfect.  She shows me every day that we are who we are and sometimes you can’t rush what will be.  I’m confident that she will struggle through life in a myriad of ways but then so did I and I think I’m the better for it.  Izzy taught me early that she is unique and can’t fit into any mold that was predetermined for her.  Any attempt to lead her down a path other than hers would be futile.  Izzy makes me stop and realize that life without her would be meaningless.

What are you thankful for?