We’re Getting Married

By: Brandy Black

The wondrous age of four in which imagination runs wild and the world is a place where anything can happen.  Our daughter plans on sprouting wings, learning to fly, and becoming a fairy when she grows up.  She flits around the house with a new perspective as the days pass.  She believes that there is a tiny person named Siri in my phone that tells me what to do and where to go when my nails are getting sharp and it’s time for a manicure.

We got a robot last week, the Roomba. I knew this would be fun for her.  It rolls around sucking the dust off the ground, it might be my favorite toy yet.  Sophia named him Plex.  She asks about Plex each morning, where he is, what he’s doing, when he’s coming out to clean the house.  She follows him from room to room laughing and telling me when he gets stuck or bumps into walls.  I envy her innocence.

Some things in life require less innocence and rather an open heart.  Lately I’ve been noticing the kids add two moms or two dads into their game of house at school; a mom from S’s preschool was telling me how nice it is that it doesn’t faze her children that their friends have same sex parents.  Why, even our President has decided to stand up for our right to wed.

The other day on the way home from school S. announced that she and her best friend Stacey are getting married and that their friends Johnny and Larry are getting married to each other too.  She told me that boys couldn’t have babies so she and Stacey will be having one for them.  I then did possibly the worst job explaining why their plan is slightly flawed.

“Well two girls, I mean women, can’t have a baby either. It takes a man and a woman.”

Right about now I was wishing Susan were there to fuck this up with me.

“What?” S. says with wide eyes.


“You and Mom had babies.”

“Yes I know but we had a donor.”


“Well it takes a sperm and an egg to have a baby and the little sperm meets the egg and they create a baby. A man has sperm and a woman has an egg.”

“Oh. So we need another girl to have a baby?  Three girls.”

“No, you need a man and a woman.  So if you and Stacey want to get married and Larry and Johnny want to get married, the best way to execute your plan would be to get sperm from Johnny or Larry and use either yours or Stacey’s eggs and than you can make a baby.”

Oh my God Oh my God, was I still talking?   What a mess.  I looked back at her to see if she was following and she said:

“Mama?  You know what I’m thinking about?”



“Of course.”

*I have changed the names of the children in this blog


  1. says

    This is the best Brandy. Love how you went on and on and she really just wanted and thought about Plex. However, this will work when it needs to. Not too early to discuss. :)

  2. danny says

    lovely – we have had many conversations just like this… and our kids even have a mom and a dad in the house…
    last saturday we went to a birthday party for a close family friend… some of his buds from kindergarten were there… we played in bounce houses had lots of treats and unwrapped presents… after present i was chatting with one of the boys from kindergarten – he said, “I think Odin will fall in love with me because of my present… but that would be silly, two boys in love….”

    I had the instinct to correct him and say something like, “no not silly at all…”

    I just said, “It must have been a great present, you must be a good friend…”

    It seems ever so tricky navigating these conversations in our modern age… trying to help them define and find themselves, while also leaving room for all kinds of people in their definitions…

    lovely piece Brandy, thanks for sharing.

  3. halina says

    we should ALL just think about Plex when the incoming information is too overwhelming.

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