Fifty Shades of Grey Sweatpants
By: Allison Norris
He’s awake. “Take off my diaper.” He’s so serious, ordering me around.
Loose but comfy and falling off of my mini muffin top just enough to expose the new black hairs I haven’t had time to pluck just below my navel. Maybe I’ll try to yank them out when I’m sneaking in a phone call with my mother.
“Sit down. Get my juice. Don’t look at me like that.”
I do as I’m told in fear that my master will punish me with a nap protest.
He tells me my breath stinks and I know instantly it’s from too many cups of coffee. If he hadn’t kept me up last night, kicking me in the back as we lay together in my bed, I wouldn’t be so tired. No matter how many times I yelled our code words “KNOCK IT OFF” he wouldn’t stop. I tossed and turned and waited until the sun came up a little more until I snuck out of my room to boil water for the french press.
It’s time for a shower. I haven’t had one in a few days and I know that I’m starting to smell bad. My muscles are sore and the idea of hot water and a little alone time is too enticing. I undress quickly, sweatpants off, knowing that he won’t like the idea of me in there… alone.
Within seconds he’s standing there, jammies on the floor, “Upppeeee!” He demands.
“Water is in my eyes! Towel!”
I think I hear him coming. He doesn’t like it when I’m on the computer, attention somewhere else. Away from him. I better go.
“MAMA PLAY WITH ME!”