A Perfect “Match”….

By: Amy Wise

After over 20 years of being together I take it for granted that we are…well…just us. I tend to forget that society sees us with different eyes than we do. Lately I have been reminded of this on numerous occasions. The first time was at a car show a few months back. Jamie and I went to the show with his dear friend Yolanda. Jamie and Yolanda have known each other since middle school and he has been a “big brother” to her all of her life.

Per the usual, while we were at the show we ran into various people we knew. Yolanda ran into some old friends as well. What we didn’t know was that one of those old friends ran back to Yolanda’s soon-to-be-ex-husband and told him she was with another man. Now at this point in time Yolanda and her husband had been split up and had filed for divorce months before, so regardless of the true facts, it didn’t really matter who she was with. What did matter was, this friend told her soon-to-be ex that Yolanda was at the car show with some “big dude.” Mind you, he saw the three of us together and all three of us talked, but he still assumed that Yolanda and Jamie were together because they matched. I’m still giggling today as I write this.

I’m not done. After the friend told the ex, the ex went to their pastor and told him! Yep. Amazing! THEN the pastor had a conversation with Yolanda and asked her if she was at a car show with another man. Yolanda replied, “Yes I was, AND I was also with his WIFE! Here, would you like to see a picture of them? That’s his WIFE and they are a MARRIED COUPLE! He is like my brother.” She said the pastor just stood there quietly shaking his head.

Isn’t it hilarious that this old friend automatically assumed because Yolanda and Jamie match on the outside that they must have been together? When will people remember the definition of ass-u-me?

A few weeks later, Yolanda, Jamie and I went out to dinner. A week after that, my daughter and I went out to the same restaurant. Jamie was out of town visiting his sister who was ill. We happened to have the same waitress from the week before. She said, “I remember you. You were here with your friend and her husband but you were sitting next to him.” I smiled nicely and said, “Um, he is MY husband and this is OUR daughter,” pointing at Tatiana who was across the table from me. Her eyes got wide and she said, “Oh sorry.” We all laughed and I said, “It’s okay, but that’s why I was sitting next to him.” As she walked off I looked at Tatiana and said, “REALLY?! Why is it so hard for everyone to believe that he is MY husband. I don’t get it.”

I take it all in stride at this point because it doesn’t change our love for each other, but sometimes it does get old having to constantly explain us.

We have been together for over two decades and one thing is for sure…we don’t have to match on the outside because our hearts are a perfect match on the inside!


  1. says

    As always a lovely post. I just think the race issues have come so more to the front since Obama, when I thought it would be the opposite. Our world is so not ready for mixed couples and it is going backwards in my opinion. Thanks for the story. Hopefully, people will read this and think about it at least. My kids always tell me I think everyone is gay now and I just laugh. I am so in this culture now I am making everyone gay-go figure. I guess because in your case and my gaydar over activity we are forgetting in life this is a small minority of folks. I just wish it all could be one human race. AN the minorities in anything can have full equal right in the laws as well as in peoples minds.

  2. says


    I agree. I would have thought that Obama’s election would have opened so many minds when in fact it seems to have done the opposite. I keep thinking there won’t be any stories for me to tell in regards to us being an interracial couple yet things continue to happen over and over, even in 2012. It’s kind of mind boggling to me because I just think of us as “us,” so it cracks me up when people continue to have issues solely because of our different skin colors. Amazing and sad. I wish people that don’t “get us” could spend one week in our home and see that we are just like them.

  3. says

    Amy, I so agree with you. Let them visit and the same with gay families and “they” will recognize we all just love and want to see peace and happiness in our hearts and home.

  4. Joey says

    Great post Amy! I’d say the same for Trevor, we match on the inside, our hearts and love for each other is the same. The only difference, our matching on the outiside is what some people don’t care for :)

  5. says


    It’s so interesting you say that about “matching on the outside.” I just had a conversation with a nurse at a hospital that so happened to be gay and he said our discrimination was much different than his because we are obvious due to our outward differences. I thought that was so interesting that he felt that way. I figured his would be worse because of all the ridiculous negativity around gay issues right now. Isn’t it “funny” how we all have different experiences with ignorance? One day I hope we have nothing to write about except history! A.

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