Our Surrogate Will Forever Be Part of Our Lives
People often ask us why we chose India to do surrogacy and we have polished and fine tuned our answer. We quickly realized that going to what some consider a developing country to have a baby can catch people off guard. For us, and this is our unique opinion, we chose India for cost because the US or Canada were indeed cost prohibitive and secondarily we did not desire a long term relationship with our surrogate. Everyone is different and some people really wish to bond with their surrogate, which of course we totally respect. Our surrogates in India are wonderful women who sign up to be a surrogate with not only their uterus, but their brains. These are women who come for a lower level of education and may not have the financial means to have some of the things in life they desire. Most clinics obtain a surrogate pool through word of mouth, similar to North America. The surrogates in India are really selfless if you think about it. They opt to partake in a program and make a huge physical commitment to help someone from somewhere else in the world. There is a substantial financial compensation for these women, and there are no bones about it, this is a definite draw. Very few surrogates in India speak English, so most of our communication with our surrogate was through a translator provided by the clinic. For us, this was ok. We had an understanding going into this that we would not be communicating freely with our surrogate based solely on the language barrier. And, this was ok by us. Some clinics in India offer skype time with IPs and surrogates which is wonderful if this is what you desire. All of our surrogates, all 8 of them, were lovely, courteous, and shy women. Each had her own personaliy that shined through when we met, and each had her own reason for wanting to do this. Like North America, the surrogates in India must go through psychological evaluation and counsel. The doctors want to ensure that the surrogate is on board with this without outside pressures and that they fully understand what the process involves. We felt that the medical and psychological screening in India was top notch, and then Dr Shivani also shared with us that there are criminal checks run on both the surrogate and her husband. This satisfied our need to ensure this was all above board and that we were all coming together knowing what was going to happen, and hopefully have a united success.
Cost of the surrogacy program at our clinic in India is substantially less than North America, and this is solely based on cost of living variances. I detailed our cost and experience on a Canandian surrogacy website. Please feel free to click here to visit this.
In the end, when we had success and saw our surrogate after the birth, she was most concerned that the baby was healthy and that we were happy. Our surrogate is an amazing woman who we thank god for everyday. She gave us a gift that no one else could, and our baby girl is healthy and happy all thanks to the wonderful care our surrogate gave to her for the 9 months’ gestation. Even though we did not want our surrogate in our daily lives, it is funny how she actually is and will forever be. Our baby girl reminds us everyday of our surrogate Sumita and we hope to one day return to India to reunite with her.
As I inserted this picture into the post, I was emotionally taken back to Week 23 of our pregnancy, when we received it. This was the most beautiful and amazing picture we could have ever had come into our lives at that time!