Gay Dad: “Why Marriage is Right for Me”

By:  Joey Uva Enoch

 

This past weekend Trevor and I drove up to the central coast of California to take a tour of a possible wedding venue for a 2013 ceremony.  On the drive up, I turned to Trevor and asked; “What are your feelings on why it is so important for us to get married?”  We have talked plenty on marriage but I have never asked him that specific question.  His response was very to the point; “It solidifies our relationship and our family”  I have been asking myself the same question. Here are my beliefs and why I think marriage is so important for me:

Our relationship is valid.  Our relationship is just as important as any other American or person on this great planet of ours.

Our dedication.  We are dedicated to sharing our life together.  We strive for greatness together.

Unity and love.  Our love is not defined by the beliefs of others.  It’s defined by our spirits, two souls that have come together in a place of unity and love.

Security.  I want to know that there is security. That our family will not be divided because society has forced it to be. Our marriage would hold our family together in times of crisis.

True freedom.  Not only ours but our daughters.  She deserves to know freedom. True freedom, not freedom that comes with the limitations that one group places on another.  I truly believe she will see this in her lifetime but I’d really like her to see it in our family.  I want her to know that her family is just as important as any other.  That our family is not less than.

Let God be the judge.  I believe in God, in a higher power.  My definition is based on my own beliefs.  I will be ready for God’s judgment at the end of this life for my acts and the impact I’ve made on others.  Let God cast the first stone on me if my love and marriage were not truly right with him in the end.  The stones you throw are heavy and they will weigh you down into darkness.

Don’t compare, know your own strength.  I have heard a lot of things like, “this celebrity got married and it failed in 72 hours.”  Or, “this person has been married 4 times, so why can’t gays and lesbians get married?”  For me, that is not a valid argument.  Every person on this planet makes mistakes and has lessons to learn.  I think for me it’s looking at what marriage means for my own relationship and family that matters most.  The failures of others should never be compared to who I am.  I know the strength of my relationship and family.

Be the change.  Why can’t I be part of the change? I know that my relationship is strong and deserves the opportunity to stand the test of time.  Why can’t I be the one who is able to stick it out in marriage through the good times and the hard times?  I want to be able to stand in those last days with Trevor and say, “Look! We made it! You have been the best husband in the world and my love for you is never ending!”

Love is enough.  Why can’t love be enough? Why can’t two people who truly love each other be enough for others to understand why we want to dedicate our lives to each other?  Why must so many people be focused on their own beliefs that they force them on others and judge from such a dark place? Our love is enough!

Trevor and I have been talking about getting married for a while now.  Whether it’s legal or not when our time comes we know that our relationship is strong, that our family is important, that we are dedicated to one another and that our love is enough.

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