Preparing your relationship for kids is not easy and getting through the first 2 years after having children is even more challenging. Brandy and Susan from The Next Family know this all too well, which is why they created a video for new parents or couples considering having a baby together.
In this video, both Brandy and Susan give their own perspectives on how parenting changed their relationship, especially when considering their different roles in having their children. “I think it’s different for the person who has the child, than the person who doesn’t,” says Brandy. She added, “Reason being, I felt like I had all that time that I was pregnant to prepare and get mentally ready for what was about to happen –“
“And I was watching reality TV and like hanging out and then suddenly we had these babies,” said Susan.
Brandy encourages the bio parent to remember that the other parent needs to have some time to catch up. They also add that it’s important to take time as parents to be with each other.
“When the child is asleep, go outside, make a picnic or whatever… Find ways to be together, spend time together…and not talk about being a parent…anything else in your life but that,” Brandy suggests. “Make yourself go on dates,” she says, explaining how if she and her wife had just gone on dates, they might not have ended up in therapy after their first child was born.
Susan tells parents that they have to “pinky swear that you will not get divorced until your kid turns two.” Brandy and Susan openly share how they almost split up when their children were between the ages of zero and two because they didn’t make time for each other.
Brandy explained that as the bio mother she fell in love with her child and somewhat ignored Susan and their relationship. “If I could do it again, I would have been more inclusive and I would have understood that it’s all hormones,” Brandy said.
Check out the video below which will help more prospective parents (and new parents) on what to expect during the early years of parenthood and some tips and advice on how to keep your relationship strong with your significant other while parenting.