facebooktwitter
Blogs
Posts Tagged ‘adoptive parents’

Cleveland Rocks

February 17th, 2010 The Next Family No comments

By: Jillian Lauren

Chronicles of the Weezer Tour 2009

w

We had a couple of unplanned days off in Cleveland and spent one of them at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with Grandma and Grandpa, who drove in from Toledo. It was more interesting than I expected. I wanted to take every fabulous costume home with me. Tariku was running around and dancing to the music and having a grand ole time, but he was making the security guards a little bit nervous and a few started following us from room to room.

Their vigilance was justified. Tariku turned suddenly, ran under the ropes and made a wild attempt to play John Lennon’s piano. I (with admitted reluctance) pried his little fingers off the ivories while Scott explained to the security guards that we’d leave peacefully and there was no need to 86 us.

Yes, we got kicked out of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. But not before we took this picture with the Weezer W.

I told Tariku we’d be back and they’d be begging him to play that piano.

Just you wait.

.

Jillian Lauren

.

.


“Some Girls: My Life In A Harem” By Jillian Lauren

February 14th, 2010 The Next Family 1 comment

The Next Family’s Adoptive Parents blogger Jillian Lauren has a book coming out on April 27th. Here is the trailer for “Some Girls: My Life In a Harem”

Jillian Lauren

Toronto Trauma

January 25th, 2010 The Next Family No comments

By: Jillian Lauren

chronicles of 2009 Weezer Tour Cont.

me-n-t

 

Toronto is all shiny silver beams and wide blue sky. It feels modern and wind-blown and clean. And I knew that it’s supposed to be so international and all that, but I was still surprised when nearly every single person with whom we came into contact had a different foreign accent. We met some lovely Jamaican vegans at an outdoor market and they fed us the best curried hummus I ever ate. We also met people from Australia, Russia, Romania, England, Thailand and Kenya.

Another Canadian curiosity (and I say this as a rabid devotee of Paris): super-friendly people with French accents. Brian lost his phone on the plane and they RETURNED it, to our HOTEL. Merci, indeed.

scott-n-dog

We were in Toronto for a few days, so Scott and T-Bone and I got to do some sightseeing. We wandered the harbourfront and caught a couple of songs by a world-beat kind of band. T danced a little bit, but really, all he wanted to do was watch the airplanes take off over the water. His is a world of airplanes. It doesn’t matter where we are or what we’re doing.

Q: Tariku, do you see that boat?
A: AIRPLANE!!! (insert airplane noise and point at the sky)
Q: Tariku, do you see that horsie?
A: AIRPLANE!!! (you know what to do)

By the time we showed up at the CN tower, the line was an hour long. So Scott and T ate hotdogs, then Scott left for rehearsal and T and I cruised Queen Street by ourselves for a couple of hours. In between the hand-painted clothing boutique and the record shop, we met the friendliest nun, wearing the whole old-school penguin habit. That’s like saying I went down to Melrose and met a nun. Anyway, I was glad that T seems to like just walking around and people watching as much as I do. T is outrageously popular with the ladies, nuns and all. For a small fee, I’m willing to loan him out for walks to any single male friends who are looking for a date.

cool-building

Then we got in the van and went to the show. Ah, the rock show. T has been to them before and loved them, so I wasn’t anticipating any trouble. I anticipated wrong. He was fine for the first hour or so. All the Blink guys have their kids along, so there’s a big play room set up at the venues. I met Mark’s smoking hot wife and their son and then…

(a side note – I think I’m going to have to bust out some serious shoes if I’m going to keep up with these ladies)

.. and then T was playing with the other kids and having a good ol’ time, when suddenly things went south. Way south. Like three hours of uninterrupted hysterics kind of south.

I did everything. I walked him around the parking lot. I brought him to listen to the music. I took him away from the music. I tried to feed him. I tried to give him milk. I gave him homeopathics. I busted out the big Orajel and Motrin guns. I sang to him. Concerned security guards were bringing us stuffed Toronto Bluejays bears and glow-in-the-dark yo-yos. I abandoned ship and took him back to the hotel. Still he screamed like someone was ripping his toenails out.

We still don’t know if it was his teeth or if, in fact, his toenail was getting ripped out. He has one toenail that’s falling off after a particularly nasty stub, and it might have gotten wedged wrong in his sandal. That’s my best guess. Though I would have thought he would have least been pointing at his toe, if that was the case. He finally exhausted himself and went to sleep. I was traumatized. Though he woke up just fine and very excited to go to the airport and see the AIRPLANES.

I hear the show went great. I have a tradition of taking a picture of the outside of every venue we’re at, so at least I got this one picture.

molson

 

Jillian Lauren

Adoption Is So In Vogue

December 14th, 2009 The Next Family No comments

By: Jillian Lauren
box

An adoptive mommy in our extended network wrote this intelligent article on international adoption in Vogue.

Jillian Lauren

No Einstein In Your Crib? Get A Refund- An article from The New York Times

November 4th, 2009 The Next Family 1 comment

By: TAMAR LEWIN
baby e

Parent alert: the Walt Disney Company is now offering refunds for all those “Baby Einstein” videos that did not make children into geniuses.

They may have been a great electronic baby sitter, but the unusual refunds appear to be a tacit admission that they did not increase infant intellect.

“We see it as an acknowledgment by the leading baby video company that baby videos are not educational, and we hope other baby media companies will follow suit by offering refunds,” said Susan Linn, director of Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, which has been pushing the issue for years.

Baby Einstein, founded in 1997, was one of the earliest players in what became a huge electronic media market for babies and toddlers. Acquired by Disney in 2001, the company expanded to a full line of books, toys, flashcards and apparel, along with DVDs including “Baby Mozart,” “Baby Shakespeare” and “Baby Galileo.”

The videos — simple productions featuring music, puppets, bright colors, and not many words — became a staple of baby life: According to a 2003 study, a third of all American babies from 6 months to 2 years old had at least one “Baby Einstein” video.

Despite their ubiquity, and the fact that many babies are transfixed by the videos, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time at all for children under 2.

In 2006, Ms. Linn’s group went to the Federal Trade Commission to complain about the educational claims made by Disney and another company, Brainy Baby. As a result, the companies dropped the word “educational” from their marketing. But the group didn’t think that was enough.

“Disney was never held accountable, and parents were never given any compensation. So we shared our information and research with a team of public health lawyers,” Ms. Linn said.

Last year, lawyers threatened a class-action lawsuit for unfair and deceptive practices unless Disney agreed to refund the full purchase price to all who bought the videos since 2004. “The Walt Disney Company’s entire Baby Einstein marketing regime is based on express and implied claims that their videos are educational and beneficial for early childhood development,” a letter from the lawyers said, calling those claims “false because research shows that television viewing is potentially harmful for very young children.”

The letter cited estimates from The Washington Post and Business Week that Baby Einstein controlled 90 percent of the baby media market, and sold $200 million worth of products annually.

The letter also described studies showing that television exposure at ages 1 through 3 is associated with attention problems at age 7.

In response, the Baby Einstein company will refund $15.99 for up to four “Baby Einstein” DVDs per household, bought between June 5, 2004, and Sept. 5, 2009, and returned to the company.

Lawyers in the matter refused to comment on the settlement.

Last month, Baby Einstein announced the new refunds — or “enhanced consumer satisfaction guarantee” — but made no mention of the lawyers’ demands.

“Fostering parent-child interaction always has and always will come first at The Baby Einstein Company, and we know that there is an ongoing discussion about how that interaction is best promoted,” Susan McLain, vice president and general manager, said in the statement. “We remain committed to providing a wide range of options to help parents create the most engaging and enriching experience for themselves and their babies.”

The founder and president of Brainy Baby, Dennis Fedoruk, said in an e-mail message that he was unaware of Baby Einstein’s refund announcement and could not offer further comment.

An outside public relations representative for Baby Einstein said there was nothing new about the refund offer.

“We’ve had a customer satisfaction guarantee for a long time,” she said, referring a reporter to the company Web site. However, Baby Einstein’s general “money-back” guarantee is only valid for 60 days from purchase and requires a receipt.

In contrast, the current offer, allowing parents to exchange their video for a different title, receive a discount coupon, or get $15.99 each for up to four returned DVDs, requires no receipt, and extends until next March 10.

“When attention got focused on this issue a few years ago, a lot of companies became more cautious about what they claimed,” said Vicky Rideout, vice president of the Kaiser Family Foundation. “But even if the word ‘education’ isn’t there, there’s a clear implication of educational benefits in a lot of the marketing.”

The Baby Einstein Web site, for example, still describes its videos with phrases like “reinforces number recognition using simple patterns” or “introduces circles, ovals, triangles, squares and rectangles.”

“My impression is that parents really believe these videos are good for their children, or at the very least, not really bad for them,” Ms. Rideout said. “To me, the most important thing is reminding parents that getting down on the floor to play with children is the most educational thing they can do.”

More on this article THE NEW YORK TIMES

All Hail The King

November 4th, 2009 The Next Family No comments

By: Jillian Lauren
king

Of the myriad wondrous and magical things about Tariku, near the top of the list is his amenability to my choice in hats.

T-Bone’s birthday was the Mount Royal social event of the year. The mini-monarch seems to love parties and to thrive in social situations, particularly when he’s the center of attention. All the neighbors flocked to smooch the king. They had to arm wrestle his grandparents to get near him, but they’re a burly crowd and everyone got a proper audience.

My neighborhood makes me feel like I’m in the opening scene of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure- where Pee-Wee is riding his shiny red bike down the street and all his neighbors are waving to him from their florescent green front lawns. Eagle Rock is this idyllic little corner of the world sandwiched between about sixty freeways. On our block, a grab bag of weirdos and totally normal folks and sweet grandmas and zombie-obsessed rockers and hairdressers and artists and mortgage brokers all bond in a common obsession for old-fashioned neighborly kindness. I am here to tell you that there are still people in LA who hang out together on their front lawns in the early evening and show up at each other’s kids’ birthday parties. It’s so transgressive. I love it.

Jillian Lauren

Hey Shorty, It’s Your Birthday

October 27th, 2009 The Next Family 1 comment

By: Jillian Lauren
at-the-beach

Friday will be Tariku’s first birthday. I bought him a tiny crown for the occasion. My parents and my aunt are coming into town and it will be the first time that we’re going to experiment a little bit with letting other people hold him. Until now, only Scott or I have been holding and nurturing him, in order to promote attachment. While I don’t anticipate any problems, it’s important to be conscientious about attachment when you’re adopting a child who’s been in an institution. We’ve been rewarded for our efforts. I almost cried the first time T and I were in a group and he crawled away from me, turned, made eye contact, and crawled back. For the rest of the parents in the room this would have been commonplace, so no one had any idea what a remarkable thing had just occurred. The attachment process isn’t just one-sided. We fall more in love with T every day.

His favorite place to hang out lately…
peanut

Jillian Lauren

We’ve Only Just Begun

October 22nd, 2009 The Next Family No comments

foodBy: Jillian Lauren

The thrill of this last month-and-a-half has been the progression of my communication with T. There are still moments where I feel lost and clueless, but far more often are the moments when I know we’re getting each other. For instance, the food thing. I was initially feeding him rice cereal and pureed carrots and stuff like that, trying to keep it simple and to add one food at a time, etc, etc. He wasn’t having it. In Ethiopia, they were feeding him things like sausage and onion soup, so I think he was probably just bored with my bland if lovingly prepared and organic creations. One day I was wearing him in the Ergo and walking around the Americana (I used to make fun of people who brought babies to malls as an activity- no longer), when I gave up on my eternal fucking diet and bought myself a chicken sausage sandwich. T kept trying to eat it, so I started feeding him little bits of the roll and then eventually little bits of the sausage and he was the happiest baby on the block. A nearby mother actually asked in horror, “He eats that? Isn’t it spicy for him?” Man, people are nosy when you have a baby.

So now Tariku has gone from eating carrot puree to eating, well, everything. And he’s gained about five pounds. We’re calling him our little chunk of love.

T’s favorite things are Brown Bear, banging on things, eating chicken sausage, standing up, looking out the window, Bob Marley, bath time and, most, most of all, his doggies. Doggy is his first word of English. He uses it for anything he really likes.

dogs

Jillian Lauren

No Words

September 21st, 2009 The Next Family No comments

By: Jillian Lauren
barbie
At the Ethiopian Airlines counter at Washington Dulles International Airport, the woman in line behind me was just bemoaning the fact that she was going to miss out on the sheep they were slaughtering for Christmas. The woman asked her daughter to save a leg in the fridge until she returned. After two years of social workers and paper work and hard, hard lessons in patience, we’re finally boarding a plane to go bring home our son. I have no words.

The dogs are more expressive than I am. The picture above is an illustration of how they feel about us leaving for two weeks. They mangled one of the dolls meant as a donation for the orphans. We found it half-buried in the backyard.

Shower

September 13th, 2009 The Next Family No comments

By: Jillian Lauren
peter-rabbit-cake

We held Tariku’s shower at Messob on Fairfax. Our friends each brought their favorite children’s book and I sat around afterwards with my neighbors Suzanne and Cynthia and had a great time looking though everyone’s contributions to Tariku’s library. We got everything from Goodnight Moon to The Snowy Day to And Tango Makes Three. The exceptionally talented Sarah Kim made a cake that looked like a book with Peter Rabbit on the cover.