By: Allison Norris

As 2009 came to an end, I took a moment to reflect on what a wild ride the year had been. I remember sitting on my girlfriend’s couch on New Year’s Eve 2008, 10 weeks pregnant, scared to death, and absolutely not going out on the town to celebrate the New Year. I was depressed. I had gotten into some fight with baby daddy and had decided to dramatically exit the relationship the final morning of 2008. I was asleep by 10 after wishing my friends in their tiny dresses a farewell and a confident “oh no, don’t worry about me, I’m fiiiiiine!”

We really put pressure on New Year’s Eve. So many facebook status updates reading “goodbye 2009! I am so excited for 2010… it’s going to be way better!” Sort of like a grown up, bonus Santa visit – here, take this new life and forget your old, shitty one! People think that the way they welcome the new year will dictate how the rest of the year will be. Sad and lonely? You’re screwed. Fabulous midnight kiss from the man of your dreams? It’s going to be a wonderful year! I suppose I technically should have had the worst year of my life…

Looking back, 2009 brought me some of the most challenging times that I have ever experienced. It also brought me more joy than I know what to do with.

Receiving my very first Value Village valued customer punch card.
Writing.
Peeing every hour.
Detesting chicken.
Growing a human.
Living in my zero gravity patio chair.
So many walks.
Birthing a human.
Fitting into my skinny jeans once again.
A lot of blurriness (thank you, sleep deprivation).
Starting a non-profit.
Sleepless nights.
Giggles in the morning.
BLOWOUTS.
Strollers and car seats.
Talking to myself.
Remembering Barney songs and singing them all day… out loud.
Love.
A healing vagina and cracked nipples. OUCH.
Amazing support.
Reconciliation.
Growth.
Breakfasts on the weekends.
A new vocab… pack n plays, the snap n go, exersaucers, nipple shields and PEPS!

I am realizing that everything on my list has to do with my baby. The year of the baby. That’s what I’ll call it.

By: Allison Norris

I am sitting on the couch ready to go to bed, but the thought of actually getting up, brushing my teeth, washing my face and putting in my night guard keeps me sitting here. My leggings are cinched at the ankles making them really (cute) hard to get off, too. And where is my tank top with the built-in breast pads? I think it’s dirty. Crap. I’ll have to rig something up to absorb my leakage that oftentimes leaves me soaked in the wee hours of the morning. I’d rather doze on the couch for a bit while a completely mind numbing program is blaring in the background instead of getting up to get the rest that I complain about not having every day. This sort of craziness is easily justified while seriously sleep deprived.

I had my friend over last night and had nothing to talk about… or contribute, rather. She is dating a new guy and had that twinkle in her eye… that feeling that he could call at any minute and that they could talk about nothing, but it would be amazing. He’s met a few of her friends, and he’s told her that he likes her and although they haven’t had any talks about exclusivity, they are definitely seeing each other quite a bit! This friend of mine hasn’t had a boyfriend in almost a year and has sort of floated around keeping her options open. Every night is a possibility for Mr. Right! I listened to her last night and found myself envious of her butterflies. I remembered the mornings that you shave your legs in the shower because you know you’ll be seeing him later. Now I’m lucky if I shave my legs once a month. And who cares if I shave them at all? Baylor? Nah… he likes me just the way that I am.

I woke up this morning sort of yearning for that excitement. And then I talked to Jen. My best buddy was dating a guy for about a month until she realized that he wasn’t for her and she let him swim off into that big pond… or sea… or whatever. Of course, she is the crazy one and he tells me so in a facebook message. That’s right, he wrote me a message, here in Seattle, about why Jen dumped him. I’ve never met the guy! He said that he was worried about her. Worried that she may not know that not everyone is perfect and that one day, she will realize that even the man that she deems worthy of her time may actually have a flaw, but to not let that flaw ruin her life because he could be the man of her dreams! OH! Thanks for the enlightening bud. Where is your crystal ball? So nice of him to make sure she knew that she will never be completely happy. So settle? So thoughtful.

I was shopping today when I ran into a friend who is having trouble with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend seems to have a wandering eye… or thumbs, as he has been a sexter texter with other ladies, and we aren’t sure what else. She caught him, confronted him, and is giving him another chance. I think my favorite part was when he asked her “ok, so I messed up. What do I need to do now to get us back to where we were?” It was as though there were an equation or a planned process that they needed to follow and POOF they would be back to where they were – happy. Everything forgiven, but not forgotten. It’s just not that easy.

Back to being sleep deprived and missing butterflies… it’s not so bad. Right when I start to wonder if I can survive another day of poop and puke, I am reminded that I’ve got it made. No weirdos with a hypothesized vision of my love life and no sexters with a need to have a harem of women in their inbox. I have a perfect man who laughs at everything that I say and never wants to leave my side! I guess it’s my job to develop my little man into a grown man who is emotionally stable, successful, handsome, polite, honest, funny, kind, loyal and faithful…. and on and on.

Should be a piece of cake… I am his mom, aren’t I?

And now it’s time for bed.