Hate Free Zone…

December 21, 2011 by  
Filed under Amy Wise, Family, Interracial Families

By: Amy Wise

Those of you that know me, know I’m a VERY positive person. Lately, however I’ve been a little disheartened by all the negative stories directed at specific groups or religions. From the minister and church in Kentucky that refused membership to interracial couples, to Lowe’s Home Improvement pulling their ads from All American Muslim, to parents throwing their gay children out on the streets, to the hateful comments regarding the interracial article our family was featured in, in USA Today. There’s so many more but I think you get the picture. Each one has a running theme…ignorance and hate based on the unknown.

The minister and church denying interracial couples membership? I’m speechless. Did we just go back in time? A church teaching hate? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Or are they just morons? Sorry, I normally don’t say that about people but in this instance I couldn’t resist. I wish the minister and members could spend one week with us so they could see that we are just a family full of love…nothing more, nothing less.

Lowe’s Home Improvement removing ads from All American Muslim because a small Christian group complained? Since when does one religion have a say over the other? C’mon Lowe’s…have you ever seen the show? The entire point is to open minds and erase assumptions. You just threw that out the window in an instant! Are we living in the dark ages or America? Shame on you, Lowe’s.

Parents throwing gay children away like trash? How is this possible? How does a parent stop loving their child because they can’t accept their partner? The heart can’t help who it falls in love with. Love’s funny like that. Trust me, I know.

The hateful comments on USA Today because we are an interracial family? Really? I had to stop reading because the horrible words made my stomach turn. How can someone hate us if they don’t even know us?

Why are we hating instead of loving? Why are we erasing instead of embracing? This is supposed to be the season of peace and love no matter what the religion. How can one hate what they don’t even know? That is called ignorance.

Does it matter if I’m Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Buddhist? Does it matter if I’m black, white, brown, or green? Does it matter if I’m gay, straight, or go both ways? No, it doesn’t. What matters is…if I have a heart, if I’m kind, if I’m giving, and if I’m loving.

The irony in all of this is, religion is supposed to teach love. What is happening here? Why is it okay to love some and hate others? It’s not. I can guarantee that whether someone worships in a church, temple, mosque, or home, there is NO religion that says it’s okay to hate. Only people do. No matter the race, religion, or sexual orientation….open hearts and open minds don’t discriminate.

I’m Christian, I’m straight, and I refuse to hate!


The Effects of School Bullies

March 11, 2011 by  
Filed under Parenting

By: Don Todd

Effects of Bullying

Hearing about the teen suicides a few months ago started to bring back some old feelings from my own high school career, but the story about Seth Walsh broke me. Seth was a student in my hometown of Tehachapi, California and attended the same schools as I did. He was a gay teen and was harassed by other students to the point that he hung himself. The only two differences between Seth and me were that I did not come out until later in life and did not follow through on my mindset as a teen. I hated every minute of my life at that time, but I was too afraid to be dead.

I was harassed in junior high and high school to the point that I dropped out after my junior year. My parents and I did not receive any assistance from the schools or the school district. When I spoke up about being pushed around, I was viewed as the troublemaker. I was told that it was a part of growing up and to learn from it. There was nothing that they would do to make me feel safe at school, so after many trips to a shrink they just pulled me out.

It’s not the pushing or getting hurt; it’s the fear that leads up to it. I spent every day sitting in class planning out how I would get to my next class without a “run in”.  Even better when one of the bullies had the same class as I did and I would have to drop that class the next day. Teachers, faculty, and the school board did nothing!  I was considered a problem for bringing it to their attention. It was as if a policy was in place that the first to speak up had an “angle” and was trying to get away with something. All I ever wanted was to have one day that I actually finished –a full day without sneaking off to my car and going home.

I was even asked if I planned on leaving a job and running every time a co-worker picked on me, or things got unbearable. I said “no”, but looking back that is just what I did. After all, high school is a “dry run for life”, as the school board says.  I have done that all through my life, just like school taught me –the fight or flight reaction.

Now I am in college and have good grades –all while working full time. It keeps me up at night thinking about how things might have been if the school would have had policies in place so that I would be safe to learn. What would my life be like now?  If someone would have done something I could have graduated, gone to college –and would not be in my early thirties still trying to get my life together.

One quote from the school system that I will never forget is, “it’s all a part of growing up.”  I start to get sick to my stomach when saying it now.  This is not a part of growing up!  Living in fear and being driven to a deep depression is not a part of life –if it is, it’s a really short life.

Once a bully sees that he can get away with something, it escalates. Through the years it is treated as simply a part of school to be bullied or to bully someone.  It needs to stop now! We are now seeing how bad it can get.  It led to me dropping out of high school, but now kids are committing suicide. How is that a part of “growing up”?

I know how it feels to be bullied every minute that you step foot in the direction of the school. It is a horror movie with the creature chasing you, and no matter what you do, you can’t get away.  Never knowing what’s going to happen or what is going on in the other kid’s head –how far will the other person take it? Standing up for yourself or just walking away doesn’t work without the school’s backing.  Without set polices in place (that are HELD!), it just makes it worse.

I had a chance to meet and talk to Seth’s mother, Wendy Walsh, and tell her about what I had gone through at the same schools. I keep thinking that if I could have done something when I was bullied and harassed, she would have Seth here today. The timing of everything is very odd, you see.  I dropped out of school around February of 1997.  Seth’s Birthday is February 12th 1997.


Don Todd will be doing an interview with Wendy Walsh about her son, bullying, and the plans she has to prevent this from happening in the future.  Keep an eye out for this interview in March.



[Photo Credit: Teachingtimes.com]