Braces? Chair Covers? Back to School Clothes? Favors?

July 22, 2013 by  
Filed under Kelly, Same Sex Parent

By: Kelly

Erin and I have started our journey into the the excitement that is planning a wedding. Before we were engaged we discussed what our “dream wedding” would look like. We each had tons of different ideas that would be cool and it became apparent, very quickly, that we may have some issues on decision making. Compromise isn’t our problem, our issue is that we both want the other to have an amazing wedding and exactly what she wants. Whenever we discuss different ideas, we both love them . . . perhaps because at the end of a big or small, traditional or party-like wedding/reception, we end up married. Maybe we are like the Gift of the Magi, however, my recent hair cut has nothing to do with paying for a Jazz Band ;)

An issue that most engaged couples have (at least those that are paying for their own wedding) is finances . . . add four kids to that equation and it can get tricky. It is hard to discuss paying for 150+ people to eat and drink at your wedding reception when we will soon have 4 sets of braces to pay for, it just doesn’t really make sense financially. As a newly engaged couple, we are excited about the possibilities but as mothers, we are tip toeing on the decision making, mostly because of the cost. Erin and I are really trying to figure out what is important . . . to us, to our kids and our friends and family. If I have learned anything from my first wedding, and about half of my friends, a $30,000+ wedding doesn’t mean the marriage will succeed.

Part of me would be fine with a small celebration but I also want to give Erin the wedding she has always longed for. Her first wedding was a bit of a surprise, where she actually received an invitation to show up. So, I want her to not only be happy and in love “till death do us part” but I also want her to be able to take an active part of planning our wedding and have the day that she has always dreamt about. She is so wonderful, loving, caring, amazing and deserves nothing less.

At this point, and things will probably change, we want it to be a celebration, a party. Erin and I love dancing. Our first date, that wasn’t really a date, was dinner and dancing and so we want dancing to be one of the biggest parts of our night. We are shying away from traditional dinner, where everyone seems segregated by tables and can only chat with the 8-10 people sitting by them. Instead, we think we will be opting for a cocktail party of sorts . . . but more casual. For us, we want it to not just celebrate the six of us becoming a legal family, but we want to celebrate all the people in our lives that have supported us and have celebrated our love. Paying homage to our different circles of friends and family who adore us and have fought for our right to marry. (No we aren’t going to make everyone bring a copy of their ballot to the wedding, although that may help us save some money). I say for now because we have already toyed around with a breakfast for dinner theme (our kids would have loved that), so who knows what could be next.

Speaking of friends, another issue is that we have (along with most engaged people) is the guest list . . . we have a lot of friends that have seen our separate journeys to find each other and are so excited to be a part of our day. Of course, I already discussed finances, which will eliminate some of them from the celebration, but how do you plan your wedding nowadays without Facebooking about it? Erin and I have invited Facebook into our relationship from the get go (ask any of our friends about the constant bombardment of couples photos). Do I create a privacy group and name it “The B list”? We both have already had people commenting about getting an invitation . . . and we don’t want anyone to feel bad but we can’t afford to have everyone who wants to come there. Realistically, we can’t even afford to have everyone we want there . . . so in the days of Social Networking, how do we not hurt someone’s feelings? They know we are engaged, they may have seen our Pinterest boards, they have heard through the grapevine . . . man, this may be the hardest part.

Can Kickstarter be used for weddings?


Honeymoon in Maroma: Pure Bliss Turned to Total Fear

September 27, 2010 by  
Filed under Brandy Black, Family

By: Brandy Black

After a few days of glorious bliss at Maroma we decided to venture out to Playa Del Carmen, which was a 15-minute drive from our slice of heaven. I actually debated ever stepping foot out of perfection but since we had not done one touristy thing (our preferred method of travel) we figured we might as well do SOMETHING other than eat, drink, and have sex. So gorgeous hostess #3 called a cab and off we went. The driver asked if I was Susan’s sister and she said “No she’s my esposa.” He laughed at her and said “No, you don’t understand that word, it means wife.” She said “Yep, she’s my wife” and that was followed by “Ohhhhhh” and a long conversation about gays and marriage.  When we arrived at our destination the cab driver convinced us to meet him when we were done with our evening so that he could take us home. Susan gratefully complied. I have to admit I was concerned about his kindness.

At the end of the night he met us at the agreed upon corner to take us back to our resort.  We began chatting and all was fine until suddenly the driver took a turn off the main drag on to a small dirt road.

My heart began racing and I grabbed Susan hard.  The road was dark.  Susan asked him what we were doing and he said “routine check.”  I started shifting around anxiously and desperately eyeing Susan to do something fast.

“’Routine check’, man?” she said. “We didn’t do this before. What’s up?”

He was quiet and than he began laughing.  This was the moment that I had been dreading.  Here we were, completely helpless, driving away from any possible safety. My life flashed before me.  We went silent and watched dirt spraying from the sides of the car.  Suddenly we saw a small shack in the distance with a plain-clothed man standing with one hand on his gun and the other on his hip.  The car stopped. My breath stopped with it.  The man nodded at our driver.  Our driver nodded back and began laughing maniacally and then the car started to slowly pull away.  My heart was pounding and Susan began talking again.

“What was that?”


“Really?  That’s pretty strange.”

“It’s for the tourists’ protection so that they can make sure you’re ok.”

We began to see the main road again. I took a deep breath and tears fell from my eyes.

In what felt like hours we were back, safe in our villa.  The trip was near the end and it was as if our dreamlike state was disappearing before our eyes.  I got Montezuma’s revenge and Susan got mosquito bites all over her body.  We checked out, Susan paid the bill, and we kissed the beach goodbye and took the longest plane ride home, Susan itching the whole way and I racing to the bathroom every 5 minutes.  We arrived in Houston for a layover and stood in a long line with our passports in hand waiting to re-enter the US officially.  We had filled out our paperwork on the plane for the border patrol and decided that since we weren’t married legally and we were entering the fine state of Texas, we would not mark the “married” box so, sadly, and against our vow to be forever out as wives, we checked the single box.  The line to the border check-in was long and I was dying for the bathroom on the other side.  We finally reached the stringent bald-headed man at the podium and handed him our passports and papers.  He looked at them carefully and asked Susan “What is your relationship to one another?”

Susan paused, looked at me and then said, “She’s my wife.”  He looked me up and down and ripped up my paperwork.  “Then you only need one of these,” he said to Susan “and tell your wife to wear sun block next time.”

It was the perfect end to our honeymoon and the perfect start to our new life.