This Is How I Take Time Off

By: Jillian Lauren

I need to change up my work routine (after I finish these novel revisions) before Scott starts stapling padding to my office walls. I’m a goal-oriented kind of gal and I don’t do down time very well, so I’m hopping off the hamster wheel and straight onto the treadmill. I just downloaded the L.A. Road Runners Marathon Training Guide. I’ve vowed to run the “next” marathon every year for the last fifteen years and have never managed to train past five miles. I’m hoping that maybe some of the physical and mental obstacles I was facing have lifted and this time will be different.

It’s always hard to approach something at which you’ve failed before with a beginner’s mind. But what other choice do you have, really? Maybe this will be my year. Hold me to it.

Who’s with me?

First Haircut

By: Jillian Lauren

As a Leo mom who is still technically a licensed cosmetologist in the state of California, I love Tariku’s hair long. But my fantasies of him looking like the newest member of the Jackson 5 have been at war with my dread of the daily battle to detangle. So we decided that we’d just take a tiny bit off the ends and hope that made it easier to comb through.

I’m not sure what traumatized me most about the experience. First, I showed up at the salon and was told by the stylist (after having cancelled on me last week) that she was running behind and I’d have to wait an hour. An hour. With my two-year-old. Needless to say I was heading out the door when the owner walked in and offered to do it. I threw caution to the wind and let her cut it. Tariku liked her and she did an okay job, though when I pick it out he looks a little bit like a lopsided bonsai. Plus it’s shorter than I would have liked.

T was a trooper and he was just happy that I brought his muppets DVD. He LOVES Miss Piggy. He doesn’t care one way or the other about his hair. I, however, have been randomly crying ever since.

I have to remind myself that it’s not the end of the world and that childhoods are chock-full of bad haircuts. But it was so hard watching her cut his hair and thinking that it had been a part of him for his whole life.

It’s also hard to explain the pressure that accompanies being a white mom dealing with black hair. It’s a loaded subject and everyone has an opinion. I have actually been stopped in the street by a barber who offered to cut it for me. I thanked him but told him that I’m kind of a hippie and my kid is going to go to hippie schools where no one is going to tease him because he has an afro.

As a mom, how can you always know that the choices you’re making are going to foster a positive self-image? I just want him to love his awesome hair. I want him to keep loving all of himself as much as he does today. I’m not exactly sure how to foster that kind of self love, but I’m committed to trying.

Lil’ Thrasher

By: Jillian Lauren

T-Bone partied all day at the video shoot for the new Weezer single “Memories.” The band shot it at the Pink Motel with the Jackass Crew as well as a bunch of pro skaters and BMX guys. T thought the skaters were rad and the feeling was mutual. I had to stop him repeatedly from attempting to hop on a skateboard and drop into the pool. It’s an awesome song and if the vibe on set was any indicator, this video is going to be a cult sensation.

Antwerp: Fast and Furious

By: Jillian Lauren

Today was my European press montage in fast forward. I found myself having that odd experience of feeling nostalgia for what I was doing at the moment. As if I was living it and looking back on it at the same time. I often feel this way in train stations.

And no, I’m not stoned.

Took a train to Antwerp this morning. One of the reasons I love traveling is that sometimes you’ll round a corner and unexpectedly see something like Antwerp Central Station:

I have a running theme in my life of travel miscommunication, so I regularly show up at airports or train stations erroneously expecting that someone will be there to meet me (midnight in Addis Ababa was my favorite). It’s at just these moments that I enjoy the evil Starbucks monster takeover of the world. When it happened today, I got a latte and marveled at the gorgeousness around me until it got sorted out.

When I finally did arrive at the offices of Lanno, my first interview was already there. I didn’t stop talking until I turned around five hours later and ran to catch a train back to Amsterdam. Along the way, I managed to shove three bites of egg sandwich into my mouth and to guzzle down twelve cups of coffee. One encouraging thing about the interviews was that a few of the journalists quoted lines and discussed some themes with me that led me to suspect the Dutch translation is excellent.

Back in the hotel now and I swear I’m going to make myself get off my ass and take a walk before I pass out. Any minute now. Here I go.

.

Jillian Lauren is a writer in Los Angeles and recently released her memoir “Some Girls: My life in a Harem” You can read more at JillianLauren.com

As Promised…

By: Jillian Lauren

…here is a picture of Scott onstage in his kilt. The new fashion statement came about after he played Bonnaroo and it was about eighteen million degrees in the shade. He was complaining that it was too hot to wear pants but he didn’t like wearing shorts onstage. My suggestion for the rest of the blistering hot summer festival shows was to get a kilt. He didn’t feel comfortable sporting traditional tartan so we found an army green uber-tough kilt and it’s been a smash hit. Even Fergie complemented him on it. And really, what man wouldn’t wear a skirt if he knew it was going to merit some flattery from Fergie?

Last Chance

By: Jillian Lauren

I’m participating in four L.A. area events in the next two weeks and after that I’m taking the post-its out of my copy of Some Girls and putting it on the shelf for a while. I’m reading with some great people, so if you haven’t come to see me read yet and are looking for a fun night out, I’d love to see you at one or all of them. You can look at my facebook events page for complete details.

The first is this Friday at 7pm at Laguna Beach Books. I’ll be reading with Shawna Kenney, Cara Bruce, Shira Tarrant and other fantastic authors who contributed to the Robot Hearts anthology.

This Saturday I’ll be taking the 7:20pm slot at the 24 Hour Literary Marathon. All L.A. based poets, writers, and muscians are invited to help celebrate The Writers Junction shift to 24-hour access. There are still some slots left so get on board. Bonus- I’ll have the baby with me because I couldn’t find a sitter. He always spices up any party.

Next Thursday the 29th at 7pm, I’ll be reading at the Little Birds series at Tavin Boutique in Echo Park, with the fabulous Janelle Brown and Mandy Kahn.

Finally, I’ll be reading at the sixth anniversary of Vermin on the Mount on Sunday August 1st, 8pm at The Mountain Bar. Also reading will be Aaron Burch, Amelia Gray, Lindsay Hunter and Adam Novy.

The picture above is from the reading I did in NY last week at Rachel Kramer Bussel’s In The Flesh. It was a great crowd and the other readers were outrageous. It was particularly fun to meet the very talented Twanna A. Hines, who had interviewed me for SMITH Magazine the week before. I also really enjoyed the fact that Jo Weldon got her editor’s assistant to participate in a pastie demonstration.

In the Flesh readers from left to right are Jo Weldon, Rachel Shukert, Kevin Allison, moi, Rachel Kramer Bussel, Twanna A. Hines and Jerry Portwood.

Trains, Planes And Grocery Shopping

By: Jillian Lauren

Tariku, Jen (babysitter extraordinaire) and I boarded a plane to NY just as the second half of the World Cup was starting. People were gathered six deep around the TV screens at the airport bars. I enjoy the energy of events that draw people together in odd places, but I’m a terrifically fickle sports fan. I was routing for The Netherlands because they’re flying me out to do press for Some Girls in a few weeks, whereas Spain hasn’t even bought the rights yet. We found out the outcome when we approached the Queens-Midtown Tunnel and saw the Empire State Building lit red and yellow.

T and I aren’t going along for the whole tour this summer because it was too impractical, but we decided to rendezvous with Scott in NY for a week. When we got to the hotel, Tariku was so excited that we didn’t get to sleep until 3:15PM. Scott arrived from Canedaigua a couple of hours later.

In spite of being exhausted, the NY mojo inspired us to go on an adventure the next morning. We took Tariku on his first subway ride up to the Intrepid museum, which is based on a WW2 aircraft carrier. I haven’t been there since I was a little girl and it was fascinating. I’m hardly one for glorifying militarism, but it’s difficult to stand on the deck of the Intrepid and not marvel.

So, in essence, we took a CHOO CHOO (all-caps indicates Tariku screaming at the top of his lungs) to a huge BOAT with AIRPLANES all over it. What?!?!? Tariku will never forgive me for taking him back to L.A. That is, until he gets back to the BEACH.

Then Scott put T down for his nap while I took a much needed break by reading in the tub. I didn’t bother with the water part, as I had already taken a shower. I just lay down in the dry tub and finished my book while occasionally looking out the window over the downtown rooftops. I steal my reading moments however I can get em.

Jen took T while we had a romantic dinner and grocery shopping date and if you think I’m being sarcastic, I’m not. Whole Foods in Soho is actually an excellent date spot if you like people watching and pricey chocolate, which is kind of my equivalent of CHOO CHOOS and AIRPLANES.

I was bummed that we missed Weezer playing on the Jumbotron in Times Square today, but we settled for the Electric Mayhem (The Muppets band) on my laptop instead, as this it what it looked like outside:

Who Needs To Think When You Have An iPhone?

By: Jillian Lauren

There’s a piece in the NYTimes today about iPhone apps that give you zingy one-liners and rhetorical strategies to aid you in debating those pesky religious fundamentalists. Not for you? Okay, there’s also one that will help you parry with atheists.

Does anyone else think this is the most ludicrous thing you’ve ever heard of?

How about an app that teaches us how to think critically about the philosophical questions that define the human condition? I have an iPhone app suggestion…it’s called, “Think For Your Own Darn Self.” You ask it questions and it suggests a number of texts from all different perspectives. You can then go read them and make up your own mind about the answer.

Besides, do we really need anything that helps us argue better? As if the problems threatening the human race right now are a result of people not having quite enough ammunition to prove that they’re right and everyone else is wrong.

New Leaf, Same Old Tree

By: Jillian Lauren

Today I’ve lit a new candle, washed my hair, reorganized my files, prayed, stood on my head, made coffee, made tea, made a gross diet shake, washed my hands twenty-six times and wiped everything in my office down with alcohol. I keep waiting for them to come out with an industrial sized Purell with a hose attachment (Ghostbusters style), but apparently they don’t think that the Obsessive Compulsive market is worth targeting. Probably becasue we don’t leave the house too much.

The thing is, I’m way, way, way overdue on my deadline for the revisions on my novel, Pretty, which is scheduled to come out next spring. I wasn’t able to complete it before starting the insane press for Some Girls, so I had to take a break and focus on promoting for a couple of months.

Now my back is against the wall and I’m having a hell of a time time transitioning from marketing mode to creative mode. The thing about transitions is that they never feel clean. I want to have some epic psychic Master Cleanse and I’ve tried everything I can think of to facilitate this, but every morning I still wake up wracked with anxiety and distracted by a million zinging thoughts and unable to find the kind of focus that it takes for me to write anything longer than a blog post.

So right now I’ll wash my hands one last time and then I’ll try to reconcile myself with the fact that there were ten places that my hands picked up germs in between the sink and the keyboard. Because I’m not a surgeon; I’m a writer. Nobody dies if things get messy.

And as I ask my doubt and anxiety to kindly step aside for a few hours so I can get some work done, I will try to keep in mind this beautiful passage from Steve Almond’s “One Over Forty” essay at The Rumpus:

Your job as a fiction writer is to focus on your characters, and to ignore – to the extent you can – the rest of the bullshit…

But the real life of a writer resides in showing up at the keyboard every day, with the necessary patience and mercy, and making the best decisions you can on behalf of your people. It’s a slow process. It often feels hopeless, more like an affliction than an art form.

Most of us will have to find our readers one by one, in other words, and against considerable resistance. If anything qualifies us as heroic, it’s that private perpetual struggle.

Put down the magazine, soldier. Forget about the other guy. Remember who you are.

.

Jillian Lauren is the author of Some Girls: My Life In A Harem and you can read more at Jillianlauren.com

A Good Night To Die

By: Jillian Lauren

This weekend I went to San Francisco for Opium Magazine’s Literary Death Match at the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts . You can read a great write-up of the night here.

After recording an interview with Rumpus Radio, Stephen Elliott and I joined my fabulous SF friends in the Yerba Buena Gardens for a picnic. I tried to bribe judge Daniel Hander (also known as Lemony Snicket) with spring rolls and vegan cookies. He was having none of it. Danica Suskin and Chris Marco took the pictures.

I love doing the Death Match and other events that merge literature and performance in fresh ways. Their website states that, “Our ultimate goal is to perform the Literary Death Match all over the world, and to continue to showcase literature as a brilliant, unstoppable medium.”

Next Page »