You Can't Judge A Penis By A Grande On Christmas Morning

By: Ann Brown The line at Starbucks on Christmas morning was long. The talk was lively. And the topic was hysterectomies. At least, that’s what I talked about with the nice lady in front of me. Maybe it was the Christmas spirit, or the bonhomie of a crowded Starbucks on a winter’s day, or the […]

The Holidays, Part 3: This Time It's Personal

By: Ann Brown I’ve been thinking a lot about the Virgin Mary. Probably because I discovered recently that, despite menopause, I am still not completely out of the woods, fertility-speaking. No, I am not pregnant. But I am not taking any chances now, either. I am not even going to stand downwind of Robin after […]

The Holidays, Part 2: My Big Idea

By: Ann Brown Last post, I theorized that Mother Mary got more than the baby Jesus that miraculous Christmas eve; she also probably got her first hemorrhoid. And I think that even the most devout woman who has ever pushed a watermelon through a turtleneck would not be offended by my ramblings. So I feel […]

The Holidays, Part One

By: Ann Brown Hanukkah. One night down. I was kind of a slacker Jewish mom at Hanukkah when my kids were young. I was so tired all the time. My weakest effort was the year that I let the kids nap in the back of the station wagon while I drove through McDonald’s for french […]