Prayers For Michael Douglas

By: Gossip by Gabsmash

Michael Douglas has been going through major throat cancer treatment since August. A grueling eight weeks of five-times-per-week radiation and multiple sessions of chemo. It seems that he and Catherine Zeta, beautiful wife of 10 years, are preparing for his passing and saying “their goodbyes.”

Douglas was diagnosed with stage-four throat cancer after finding a “walnut-size tumor on the base of his tongue just months ago.” Dr. Braverman told Star mag, “He is likely depressed, tired and fatigued. And it’s very possible he could die.”

A source says, “They’re trying to be brave, but really, they’re preparing for the worst. They’ve even started talking about what his wife Catherine’s life might be like without Michael in it.” Such bad news for a sweet couple…

Star/PR Photos

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Gabsmash

Is JT Giving Up The Tunes?

By: Gossip By Gabsmash

After his scene stealing role in the No. 1 movie in the country, The Social Network, Timberlake may be thinking all big screen. “Making the movie was a fulfilling process. It’s more collaborative than doing my own show or making a CD,” he says.

“I’m the buck onstage. Everything stops with me. On a movie, I have to toss the ball around with the other actors.” Would love to see that! However, it is way time to drop a follow up to FutureSex/LoveSounds. Right? Yeah! I’m bringing sexy back….Yeah!

In Touch/PR Photos

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Gabsmash

That’s So Gay

By: Gossip By Gabsmash

Is anyone offended when they hear that comment? When people say that, do you think they are actually referring to gay relations? Anderson Cooper does. Cooper was on Ellen this week to speak out against bullying. He also fired at Vince Vaughn’s upcoming flick…

In the movie, Vaughn’s character says,”Ladies and gentleman, electric cars are gay.” Cooper said he became upset while watching previews at a theater, telling DeGeneres he was “shocked” to hear the word being tossed around like that in a movie trailer.

He didn’t mention the movie or Vaughn by name, but it’s evident that he’s talking about Vaughn, whose rep declined to comment. But of course.

“There was a preview of a movie, and in it, the actor said, ‘That’s so gay,’ and I was shocked that not only that they put it in the movie, but that they put that in the preview. They thought that it was OK to put that in a preview for the movie to get people to go and see it,” said Cooper.

“I just find those words, those terms, we’ve got to do something to make those words unacceptable cause those words are hurting kids,” Cooper continued. “Someone else I talked to recently said that the words people use and the things people say about other kids online, it enters into their internal dialogue. And when you’re a kid, it can change the way you see yourself and the way you think about yourself, and the worth that you give to yourself. I think we need to really focus on what language we’re using and how we’re treating these kids.”

“It’s incredible when you realize how commonly the term ‘that’s so gay’ is among kids today,” Cooper said. “It’s used not just against kids that are gay or lesbian, it’s used as an insult to anybody in this day and age among kids and that’s something that has to stop.” You go you handsome man! IMO, some people make the comment instead of saying “That’s so stupid.” However, the comment is negative, which is wrong on any count. You usually don’t hear “That’s so Asian!” or “That’s so straight!”… I’m with Anderson on this one.

E! reports that the trailer has been pulled.

News Update** – Check out the latest from US Magazine

E!/PR Photos

Gossip by Gabsmash

Everybody Loves Usher!

By: Gossip By Gabsmash

Usher and Alicia Keys at the Keep A Child Alive Black Ball 2010

PR Photos

Brad and Angie

By: Gossip by Gabsmash

There have been a lot of rumors lately surrounding Brad Pitt and his wandering eye. Star Magazine reported last month that a 22 year-old private flight attendant/model/slut allegedly slept with Brad on a flight. She claims Brad was all over her and she has her regulars. “They get so excited when they cheat! It turns me on because I’m able to give them what they lack,” she said. Really? A proud hooker.

Brad is currently filming Moneyball, is constantly surrounded by hot chicks, and Angie isn’t happy about it. Especially when a young, hot extra/calendar girl named Amanda Gist tweets “@WesMFNAndrews Haha! No need for jealousy….aside from my time spent with Brad Pitt.” In Touch Weekly claims “Angie is beside herself.” She should be. Remember how Brad and Angelina met?? I think they were FILMING A MOVIE together called Mr.& Mrs. Smith.

Angelina supposedly “calls Brad all day long, and won’t leave him alone. It’s like she doesn’t want to give him any free time to stray.” That works. In Touch says that ”she’s even resorted to asking his bodyguards about his on-set behavior.” Apparently the bodyguards are loyal to Brad and they don’t say a peep. Smart guys. I give “Brangelina” five months!

In Touch/PR Photos

Transformers 3 Will Be “Balls-Out”

By: Gossip by Gabsmash

Shia LaBeouf claims he was not impressed with the last “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” but he says the third film will be the best of the series. “This is, and I’m not just BS-ing you, it’s the best movie we’ve made of the three by far,” LaBeouf said.  Shia says that director Michael Bay showed him “40 minutes of footage that had (him) feeling extra confident about the final product.”

“The script is the best script we’ve had,” LaBeouf said. “The second movie, we were in the middle of a writer’s strike, writing on the go,” he explained. “The first movie, we had the discovery, and this movie really is the fruition of the rhythm we’ve created out of five years working together. I’m super proud of this movie.”

LaBeouf said the film will definitely be his last. “There’s no more for me, at least. I’m never going to do it again,” he claims. “This is the last one, so it’s balls-out. This is the best movie we’ve made, period, and that’s a unanimous decision by everybody. The sizzle reel that Michael Bay has been showing everybody on set, it’s so outrageous. I’m very, very, very, very proud of it.”  Proud much? We will see!

[Photo Credit: MTV/PR Photo]

The Next Family Summer Party

The pictures from The Next Family party are here! Thanks to all for making our event so special!  It was a great group of people.

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Here is a the link to see all the pictures for the evening and purchase them if you like…

Sarita Relis Photography- The Next Family Party .

Sponsored By:

Kevin Scott and Justin Holcher

Financial Advisors            

The Scott Group

Welcome to Crazy Land

By: Tony Tripoli

So, I’ve been away, kids, and I apologize.

I was in Provincetown, Massachusetts doing my one-man show, TONY TRIPOLI: I Shit My Pants (An Evening Of Sophisticated Standup), and, since it was my very first time there, I have QUITE A BIT to report.

I got offered the booking there a few months ago, and, while I knew that Ptown was a gay beach town with lots of entertainers performing all summer, and that a number of my friends have worked there and had a blast, what I didn’t know could fill a book.

Or, at least, this column…

First off, the lovely lesbian booker had only one condition for my hiring: re-shoot the poster for my show…shirtless. This, of course, goes contrary to virtually every tenant of comedy. I mean, other than Dane Cook, name a comic you’d wanna bang. Exactly. And, don’t say Sarah Silverman, ‘cause, while I’m a fan, she is hardly the epitome of feminine grace. My point is, as comedians, we are supposed to be outsiders pointing out the flaws in the system, and complaining about how we can’t get laid. If you are half naked on the billboard, it’s sorta sending the wrong message. But, the lovely lesbian booker claimed that THAT is how things are done in Ptown, and that it was a deal breaker.

I re-shot the poster.

What was originally this:

Was changed to this:

But, I gotta admit, it put butts in the seats. Score one for the lovely lesbian booker.

Another thing that is unique to Ptown is called “Barking”. Barking is the act of standing outside in front of your theater, handing flyers to the passersby, and trying to convince them to buy a ticket for your show. It’s very much like being a homeless person begging for change, except with less dignity.

And more dirty looks.

So, every day, I would walk the beach, handing out flyers, and stand on the street, handing out flyers. All the while, asking folks to come to the show, and having them say things to me like:

1) Is that supposed to be you?

2) You look taller in the picture.

And

3) Do you show your cock?

Lucky I never considered myself an artist, cause this woulda killed it.

All in all, the shows went great, though after my first performance, my lovely lesbian booker asked me very politely to take out 2 jokes that she felt were too edgy for Ptown. A town full of homos, and my stuff is too edgy? Upset, and unsure what to do, I called my dear friend, actor and comedian extraordinaire Alec Mapa. You know him from Desperate Housewives and Ugly Betty, and his standup is filthy and fabulous.

“What should I do?”

“Girl, I’d take those 2 jokes and turn ‘em into 20 minutes…”

“Yes, but, I don’t have Ugly Betty money.”

(pause)

“Take ‘em out.”

Disaster averted, I finished my run to nice audiences, and 2 less jokes than I do everywhere else. But, the check cleared, so, screw it.

Remember…I told you I wasn’t an artist.

You can read more about Tony at tonytripoli.com

Welcome To Crazy Land

By: Tony Tripoli

The creator of Jersey Shore slipped to the Hollywood Reporter that she puts the whole cast on Valtrex, a popular herpes medication, going so far as to call the cast “A Herpes Nest”.

But, the kids are growing up. Pretty soon, it will be time to spread their legs and fly…

Prada is about to release these canvas “Budget Bags”, which will sell for ONLY $295 each.

They will look especially chic at the unemployment office, the food stamp office, or the free clinic.

Danielle Staub, of the New Jersey Housewives and “Prostitution Whore!” fame, is about to get famous-er. A 75-minute sex tape, allegedly made last September, is going on sale next week.

And, apparently, this came as a shock to Danielle…I mean, look at her eyebrows. They actually stayed that way…

The Bachelor Pad, the newest show from the Bachelor franchise, is currently taping, and will air later this year.
It reunites the show’s most unforgettable contestants, most of whom I’ve long since forgotten about, and lets them compete in “challenges”.

You know, like getting famous again.

Holly Madison, whose new show, Holly’s World, premiered this week, is writing a book about Las Vegas, and its lesser known roadside attractions.

Basically, places that aren’t casinos where you can get wasted and fuck.

Here’s J-Wow, from Jersey Shore.

And, her cantaloupes.

She’s wearing a dress (ish) from her new collection, FILTHY COUTURE, which she promises will be available to everyone with cash soon.

Which makes sense, cause she looks like she’s available to anyone with cash now.

By the way, if you don’t want me to call ‘em cantaloupes, don’t make ‘em orange.

In spite of being quoted as saying “I don’t believe in doing something you don’t believe in to make money… like a makeup campaign or something like that,” actress and smarty-pants Natalie Portman has signed on to be the new face of Parfums Christian Dior.

At least college girl is smart enough to know how to properly spell “hypocrite”…

This outfit makes Rihanna look so tiny…. Oh, it’s Willow Smith, Jaden Smith’s sister, at his Karate Kid premiere?

Dang. Something tells me that when this kid tells you to get her a Bouncin’ Berry Capri Sun, you better not come back with a Hawaiian Punch, or you’ll get a miniature boot in your ass. That she just used
to squash out her Newport.

Tony Tripoli
tonytripoli.com

Welcome To Crazy Land

By: Tony Tripoli

It’s just a plain old-fashioned shitty time right now.

A professional dancer in the first half of her career won “Dancing With The Stars”, Crystal Bowersox didn’t win “American Idol”, and instead, some guy who doesn’t sing so great did, AND apparently, the “Sex And The City” sequel is a gold-dipped turd.

Happy Memorial Day, America.

I guess this year, we’re remembering mediocrity.

Oh, and don’t get me started on the oil spill and Jesse James’s interview…both huge sources of crap just gurgling out non-stop.

One bright spot: I have a week off.

The TV Show I write on, THE DISH, is on hiatus this week, because we are airing a special episode: THE DISH PRESENTS TV’s FIGHTS AND FEUDS! It is a really funny recap of the big A-holes on our TVs this year, and we aren’t even to June yet. We award our top prize, The Golden Brass Knuckles of Excellence, to that bad Mama-Jama, Kate Gosselin.

I am telling you this not to promote the show (which premieres Saturday at 10pm, check local listings), but rather, because I HAD A REAL LIFE RUN-IN WITH KATE GOSSELIN, and you need to know!

We taped the special last Friday afternoon, and when we were done, I went to Burke Williams Spa for a “let’s get this vacation started” massage. It is a great spa, and the best part is, you go early and soak in whirlpools, saunas, and steam rooms, while drinking water with a cucumber slice in it, which is, apparently, incredibly fancy, and what I would be doing at home, if I loved myself more.

An hour after taping our shows, I’m in a towel, alone in a steam room, forgetting the stresses of dealing with the dumbasses of the world….ahhhh.

Then 2 men enter the tiny sweatlodge. One in a towel, the other nude and impossibly attractive.

Nudie plops down next to me, extends his hand, and, in his outside voice, asks “How ya doin’ Bro?”

So much for forgetting the dumbasses.

My response was brilliant. Since he was being inappropriately loud, I decided to reply in the tiniest whisper I could, thereby educating this ingrate in proper steamroom etiquette. Obviously, he would realize what a clod he had been, and lower his voice, and drink some magical cucumber water.

I whispered: “Just relaxing.”

Not only did nudie NOT lower his voice, he upped the douchebag ante by announcing to the audience that lives in his head: “I’m Jordan, and this is my publicist, Ben.”

That one shocked me, and I’ve lived in L.A. over 20 years.

But, I think I took him down a peg or two. I spent the next few minutes telling Ben how fascinating his job sounded, asking countless questions about his career, and even his other clients.

I never asked nudie anything.

Pretty soon, he got pouty, and left.

Oh, and I’m pretty sure Ben enjoyed his absence as much as I did.

After my massage, I was waiting for the elevator down to the parking level, when the doors opened, and out walked Kate Gosselin and her silver fox of a bodyguard.

She was wearing more makeup than any drag queen I know, and I know quite a few. Her dress was extremely tight, and extremely mini. Perhaps it was one of her daughter’s. Don’t ask about the hair; you know the answer.

She breezed past, and in one of those reflexive moments in life where you act without thinking, I blurted: “Excuse me, Kate, may I tell you something really quickly?”

I don’t know what I thought I was going to tell her, but I knew this would be a good story, so I’d just have to cross that bridge when I got to it.

She stopped in her tracks, spun around on her extremely tall heels, and said, in a tone that could best be described as “accusatory”: “WHAT?!”

Well, now I’d poked the hornets’ nest with a stick, hadn’t I?

“I write on a TV show, called THE DISH, and, um, we love you there, and, um, we tease you a lot, but, you know, love you….anyway, we just taped a special, about the best fighters of the year, and hey, we awarded you the Golden Brass Knuckles of Excellence…..so, that’s, you know, cool, huh?”

Her reply was simple. Just a single syllable. Yet, in that syllable, I got a glimpse into the daily lives of little Aiden, or, Maddie, or the one with the glasses. And, it was brutal. If this is what they hear when they tell Mommy they are hungry or got a boo boo, or miss their Daddy, then we gotta get ‘em out of there.

“oh.”

I didn’t even capitalize it, because she didn’t. And trust me, she didn’t have to.

Lucky for me, her Golden Brass Knuckles of Excellence hadn’t been delivered yet.

Tony Tripoli

tonytripoli.com

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