The Last Non-Supper

By: Susan Howard

DAY 3, THE LAST ONE

Am I euphoric, elated, joyous? No I am not. I have the rest of the day to consume
bottles upon bottles of beet, watercress, cucumber, romaine, and parsley juice.
Fresh Pressed makes a good tasting juice, I will admit; I just don’t want to drink
them. Did James Dean juice, did Picasso juice, did Jack Kerouac? No they didn’t
because juicing isn’t cool.

I realize that I love my coffee and a toasted bagel because that is cool. Good things
can happen after they have been consumed. You feel full, jittery even. You might go
skydiving, drive a cab, or play in a band. What happens on a cleanse? After drinking
my overpriced V8, I am home reading a book of short stories, I am doing research on
reptiles, I am 80 years old worrying about my bursitis. It’s killing me by the way.

THE FINAL NIGHT, THE LAST NON-SUPPER

I am nauseous, I wonder if all the “toxins” are suddenly coming out all at once. Are
the sour cream and onion potato chips I had in the eighth grade finally coming down
the pipeline? I really feel gross, I fear I am over-hydrated. There was this crazy
story that I read about a person running the Chicago marathon that actually died
from drinking too much water. No joke. Am I that person? Even the good tasting
almond milk is now a chore.

I am glad I did it, so I can say I did, but I don’t think juicing is for me.

First of all it’s too L.A.

Second of all it’s too much of a total chick thing. I am a chick, but not a total chick.

Lastly I really like to eat: cooking, chewing, crunching, and slurping -all of it.

I will say that the juices are very nutritious and one might swap out a meal or two
with a juice, but that is as far as I will go on this matter.

Did I end the cleanse and think, why don’t I just keep fasting like Ghandi?

No, no I did not.

EPILOGUE

The day after and final thoughts. I woke up on the next morning and strangely
broke the cleanse with juice. A client wanted me to try their juice from a nearby
store, so what the hell, against all odds I had some more.

Ultimately I got a wheat bagel with butter and a double latte, which was amazing, by
the way. The warm toasted bagel so chewy and delicious.

I did learn one thing, which is I am not hungry in the morning and I am not that
hungry at night. 11 am and 3:30 pm are the two times my stomach really growled
and I was especially pissed to be on the cleanse. So I think I will eat accordingly.
Also my skin looks super good. WATER: it’s a wonder.

Ultimately I would say give it a try, it’s only 3 days you big babies.

Red Pee

By: Susan Howard

I woke to red pee.

It’s the morning of my first juice cleanse day and I am already peeing red.  I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to last the full three days, so during the pre-cleanse phase not only did I omit coffee, but I did a few trial runs with carrot beet juice.  Thus the pee.  It took me a second to realize it though.  Imagine.

Day One, I am having conversations with myself about food and if I ever really liked it in the first place, all that chewing and digesting, who needs it, so 80’s.  I am hanging on to this mantra like a thin fraying rope.

The bottles are super pretty, and I, like any good American, am a sucker for good packaging.

Juice one tastes good, but is green in color, sort of weird in the am.

Pee two: red as well, plus a poop, normal looking.

I wish I could eat even a cracker.

More juice, more pee.  Pineapple, apple mint juice is a treat that I enjoy at dinner time.

My pee is clear now, the kind of clear that looks like the toilet water.  No yellow at all.

It’s 7:30 pm on Day One and I still have 3 juices left to drink!  I am strangely determined to drink each one and to follow the program as closely as possible.  Instead of little sips, I am aggressively gulping down the final drinks.  One that was really looming: the chlorophyll H2O -a bright green water -actually doesn’t taste like the sea sludge I was expecting; in fact it doesn’t taste like much.

Ya know how when you do something really hard like sprinting up a hill, you don’t realize how hard it is until you stop, then it hits you and immediately you gasp for breath?  That’s what gulping these juices is like.   I can drink them down okay, it’s the aftermath that really gets me.

There is an almond milk juice that is my final one.  I am really looking forward to it.  At least that is something that sounds like something.

The conversations about the lack of necessity food has have ceased.

One last note: I pooped red.  I wonder if the Russians have the same problem. I will have to ask my friend Boris.

Clean

By: Susan Howard

Hello, I am an LA based trainer and I talk about all things healthy.  I took a blogcation, but am happy to be back writing for the site.

I am starting my first official 3-day cleanse.  I picked Fresh Pressed Juicery because they deliver to your house daily, making me feel at least that the juices are SUPER fresh.  I picked 3 days, because it was the shortest amount of time.  The nice thing is, if I am still hungry after drinking my six juices a day, then I am allowed to cheat by boiling broccoli and cauliflower and then drinking the water as a broth.  Thanks Fresh Pressed, you are really spoiling me.  I can drink that or my own urine.

I am on my 48^th hour of no caffeine, and standing strong.  Even still, I have already messed up my pre cleanse routine by drinking a Mojito.  I thought about getting a soda water with a splash of cran.  I even pictured myself ordering that at the swank beachside hotel bar my family and I went to on Saturday, but then the word Mojito came out.

Why?

What am I so attached to? I expect in the coming days I will learn just that.  The real reason I wanted to try this cleanse was to figure out what I am not willing to let go of and why.  Is food more emotional than physical?  What do I expect from it?  What does it really give me?

I love to eat.  Goodbye food.  I will miss you.  Come back soon.

Susan

Summer’s Coming…You Can Run But You Cannot Hide

By: Susan Howard

Whether or not you go out drinking too much with your friends, go to the all-night drive-thru for that late night snack, hit the snooze on your alarm instead of taking a morning jog, one thing is for sure: summer is upon us.  You will be wearing fewer clothes, you will be pool side, you will be at a picnic in a summer dress or shorts.

Make all the excuses you want about why you have no time to workout and why it is impossible to make healthy food choices; the truth remains
–you want to feel good in your body.  If you’re like I am, you might have put on 5 or so pounds hibernating in the winter. Take advantage of the warmer weather and start making lighter meals like veggies, fruits, and salads.  Fire up the grill; it’s a great way to make a ton of lean, clean, amazing meals.  Don’t have a grill?  Why the hell not?  Go get one!

Salad –friend or foe?   I flipped my Trader Joe’s pre-made salad to see the calorie count.  At first it seemed great. 250 calories for the entire container of greens with some cheese, cabbage, and other stuff.  Then I read, “with dressing – 500″.  That little innocent cup of dressing was doubling my caloric intake.  How could that be?  Oil –even olive oil, a healthy fat –can really bump you up.  Luckily my least favorite thing is an over-dressed salad.

Be the annoying patron who asks for dressing on the side.  Then when your salad comes, grab the lemon from your water glass and squirt it on top of your salad. Sprinkle a bit of salt and pepper on top of that.  Then add a dip or two of the dressing.  Start light. You can always add more; you are in control.  This should appeal to the control freak in all of us.

Best Dressed:

Beware, store-bought dressings often contain trans fats in them.  Now that the FDA mandates that companies label their foods with trans fats, they have switched to partially hydrogenated oils, which are essentially the same cholesterol-raising, diabetes-giving, bad-for-you ingredient.  Those sneaky corporate devils.

Here’s a favorite at-home dressing that you can try. Make it in order as listed:

1 thinly-sliced shallot
1 small crushed garlic
½ juice from a lemon
½ juice from a lime
Salt and pepper
A squirt of  mustard
A spoonful of kalamata olive tapenade
A shot of olive oil and a quick splash of balsamic

Challenge: Workout everyday in the month of May. You owe yourself for all the winter screw-ups.  Repent with extra cardio, hikes, bikes, long dog walks, classes, whatever.  Try your very best not to miss a day even if it’s a quick 20 minutes of stair climbing and pushups.  Get it done.

Cool move of the month: JUMPING

After a 10-minute cardio warm up, set up a step you can jump up to.  Start with something you know you can do –like from the ground, up one step.  Try that 10 times.  Then find something higher and try 8 jumps.  Keeping going up in height and down in reps until you get to 2 reps. It’s really easy to set up if you have a step with risers like they have at a traditional gym, but even if you don’t, look around your house. You should be able to find 4 different-leveled things to safely jump onto.

Tips:

On the take-off, drop your butt down and then spring through your heels, butt, and quads.

Land with bent knees. 

On the higher jumps, be sure to use your arms. 

Build slowly, gain confidence, and have fun. 

Up, up, up and away!

You can find out more about Susan on Susan Howard Fitness

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[Photo Credit: kurafire]

Snap! Out of It

By: Susan Howard

Spread your wings…

Do you find yourself treading the same pathways in your days?  Trudging to the same coffee shop in the am, pacing the same hallway on the phone, eating the same muted-looking foods, slumping down into the same couch?

As I’ve said before, when it comes to your workouts, when you are bored your body is bored, too.  If you keep feeding your body the same routine, it has no reason to adapt and therefore no changes happen, no gains.  Your body’s thinking, been there; done that; we got this.

One way to mix up your workout is to train in different ranges of motion.  Often we move front to back –running, lunges, hiking –and neglect moving laterally like you might in a game of tennis.

Even within a move like a squat I had always learned to squat down until my thighs were parallel to the ground and then come up.  Only when I started practicing butt-to-heel squats (assuming the knees are up for the task), did I realize the benefit in my hips, lower back, and glutes.  I had looked in awe upon my 80-year-old Asian neighbor in a full squat clipping her flowers.  How does she do it, I marveled?

She’s the warrior rock star, but I am at least working towards getting that type of range; I am in the game.  Don’t get discouraged if you are awful at these when you start –remember, you are waking up neuromuscular pathways that have been dormant for a while now.

My Grandma Eddie lost the ability to reach up to her cabinets. She never practiced reaching overhead and so her shoulders eventually ossified, closing down the possibility of reaching.

That is ultimately the reason we want to play with different ranges of motion: to keep ourselves open to new possibilities. Otherwise, we get stuck.  Not that the old way is wrong –we just don’t want to become limited to it.

Spread you wings and fly… sure you can!

Try these 3 super-cool moves:

Heel-to-Butt Squat (The Asian Grandmas)

Grab a bar or chair. Stand with your feet hips-width apart, (wider if you are tight in your hamstrings, hips, or back). Then, keeping your torso as erect as possible, lower your butt down towards your heels keeping your knees and feet inline, then come up to standing.  Be sure your heels don’t pop up, if they do, take your legs wider out. Try 3 sets of 10.  (If you have knee injuries skip this one.)

Military Press Plus (The George W Bush)

Grab a pair of light weights (5 lbs for women, 10 for guys).  Then make a “W” shape with your arms. Lift your chest up and depress your shoulders down, then press your arms overhead.  Be sure your hips don’t jut forward as you extend. If you need to, you can use a split stance for more stability.  3 sets of 15 reps.  (If you have rotator cuff issues try this one with no weight.)

Lateral Steps (The Shiripovas)

Grab a single weight and stand in a neutral position. Hold the weight in your left hand. Then, with your right foot, step to the right. Sink your butt down, keeping your spine long. Tap the weight to the right ankle then come back up to standing.  You can keep your right hand on your right knee for support.  Be sure to keep your knees in over your ankles and stick your butt back and shift your body weight into your heels. 3 sets, 10 reps on each side.

GINGER “SNAP”

Use fresh ginger to snap up your meals.  It’s brown, looks like tree bark, but can really bump up the jam on boring veggies, chicken, or fish.  There is a sneaky way to peel it by rubbing a spoon across the skin, or just carefully chop the brow part off.  Then slice the middle into thin strips.  Real ginger has a ton of flavor so don’t get too aggressive; a one-inch hunk -minced -is perfect.

SZECHWAN STRING BEANS

Blanch or steam some fresh string beans (don’t forget to snap the yucky ends off).

Then, cover the bottom of a pan with olive oil and or fish oil, minced fresh ginger, and a pinch of chili flakes.

Add scallions and blanched/steamed green beans.

Soon after, toss in some minced garlic.

Finish with a dash of soy sauce.

There you have it!

(You could just use ginger powder, but WHY are you being such a wimp, so pedestrian?  The real thing is so much better.   If you’ve never purchased fresh ginger I challenge you to jump outside of your comfort zone and find it!)

BOOM!

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Susan Howard is a personal trainer in Los Angeles, you can read more about her philosophy at Susan Howard Fitness

Val Guin and the Mind/Body/Spirit Connection

Brought to you Courtesy of The Seattle Lesbian

By: Kate West

Val Guin is a therapeutic body worker whose goal isn’t just to relieve pain, but also to figure out what is dysfunctioning so it can be repaired. She has over 30 years’ of mind and body experience and has attended some of the most prestigious wellness and holistic health organizations, like IPSB, Emperor’s College, Yo San University, Energenesis Institute, and the Kinesiology Institute.  Val has also been an instructor for over 25 years at the renowned Institute of Psycho-Structural Balancing and is a founding member of the Santa Monica Center of Healing Arts. She developed and perfected the Forearm Dance massage technique, which you’ll read about in the interview below. I had a lovely chat with Ms. Guin and I hope you’ll follow her recommendations for a healthier life.

Read the full interview here: The Seattle Lesbian

Pack This

By: Susan Howard

Heading out on your holiday vacation? It’s easy to make excuses to skip workouts, pig out, and crumble into a drunken stupor.

Not this time! I am going to give you a few good reasons to keep up your routine and a great full body workout that you can pack in your suitcase.

A few tips to save you from making party fouls:

1.  Eat a chicken sandwich before you go to a party, that way you won’t be super hungry and make a bunch of unconscious food choices.  Then go ahead and enjoy a treat or two.

2.  With every cocktail, have a glass of water. Staying hydrated is very important, especially for the endurance drinker.

3.  Stay away from the punch, oftentimes it’s mixed with super sugary juice.  Stick with red wine or vodka and soda.

4.  Make yourself the designated driver, that way when you only have one and cut yourself off early you have an excuse, you’re not a party pooper, just safe.

THE WORKOUT

Downward Dog, marching slowly through your legs

Cat and Cow, 5 breaths

Plank Pose with leg lifts, 10 on each side

Swimmers –from your stomach, lift opposite arm and opposite leg, 30 reps back and forth

Cannonball –with arms at sides, reach your finger tips toward your heels and extend your back and legs up, hold

10 push ups

25 crunches, knees to elbows

Rest for 1 minute then repeat 2 more times through.

Now put those holiday cookies aside already!

A Vacation Fit For Parents

By: Susan Howard

Tucked away and surrounded by rolling hills sits La Costa Resort and Spa in Carlsbad, CA (near San Diego). As a private trainer, I am often concerned that my clients will lose headway when they go on vacation. High fat foods, an abundance of cocktails, and nowhere to workout except the one stationary bike left there from the 70’s in a room full of mirrors and a broken bench –not very appealing. Therefore, I am constantly on a quest to find the best vacation destinations in which to luxuriously relax and stay fit.

I undoubtedly found it in La Costa Resort and Spa. San Diego is one of the healthiest cities in the country and the vacation spots reflect that. With a stellar 8,000 square foot gym, up to the minute classes, and the Chopra Yoga center right on the premises, how could you not workout?

La Costa has 8 pools. The family pool area consists of two huge, fast watersides that will awaken the kid in any adult, a little slide for the toddlers, a big spray water station, and a beach that fades into a wading pool. Two-year-olds will have a heyday just walking from the beach to the wading pool then back out to the beach as the very kind waitress offers overtired parents delicious Bloody Mary’s.

Our room was spacious and well designed, including wooden trim and clean lines and a luxuriously large bathroom with marble floors and a spa-sized sunken tub. The bed was comfortable, pillows just right. They also have villas that you can rent if you want to go with another family or bring the in-laws –always a plus for more workout time.

At the gym I sifted through the varied class schedule and picked the trendy Kettlebell Cardio Crunch class. I got to experience some cool new moves from a veteran instructor working on the BOSU ball and balancing the bell overhead then onto the row machine for a 5-minute blast. They also offer Zumba, spinning, and pilates classes, to name a few. The gym, which overlooks a huge golf course, is equipped with tons of cardio machines, a full strength room with free weights, and cable machines.

Oh yeah, La Costa has a full PGA 18-hole golf course. Seems very impressive –not our thing, but if one of you enjoys golf this could definitely be a selling point. They have 17 tennis courts as well, 4 of them clay.

I also went to the mediation class and omm’d in a very peaceful and unifying setting with gong and all. Brandy, my wife, took a yoga class. When the bouncy San Diego blond instructor with the squeaky voice started talking Brandy thought, “oh well, can’t leave now,” then proceeded to take one of the best yoga classes she’s had in a while. There is something centering and calm at the Chopra Center, based in Deepok Chopra’s philosophy. The adjoining shop has all the books and soothing music you could ever want.

The spa has great amenities: steam, sauna, outdoor whirlpool, and a quiet area with fireplace. The pool has a waterfall that pounds down on your shoulders, giving you a massage before you even get to the treatment. When I went it was a popular weekend for the spa and most of the women wore their swimsuits, so be warned. (I am a prude from the Midwest, but even I go naked in a spa.) I got the signature Spanish Herbal Body Rub, which is 100 minutes of exfoliating massaging bliss. It starts with a salt scrub and then lavender tea leaves; I was scrubbed from head to toe. Then I rinsed off and went back to the table for a deep massage. My skin felt soft and my spirit as easy as Sunday morning.

Each meal we tried was delicious. The first night we ate out on the patio of Blue Fire Grill surrounded by fire pits and live jazz. The setting was beautiful with a family-friendly atmosphere. Brandy had a seafood trio that was amazing, fish caught locally, and I had the roast chicken with polenta and veggies, both meals were flavorful and light. Little Sophia skipped her hot dog and went straight for the ice cream with sprinkles. It is vacation, after all. The menu even delights the children with a milk flight- chocolate, strawberry and regular.

The next night we ate at Legends Bistro on the patio right beside the crackling fire. I was struck by the bountiful vegetarian selections. This menu featured some meals inspired by the Chopra Center. Lentils over basmati rice, vegetable risotto, and butternut squash ravioli were a huge welcome from the standard steamed veggie plate option. They also have a delicious buffet brunch each morning.

We took long, beautiful, late night stroller walks through the vast lush property and still didn’t see everything. The grounds are well manicured and filled with succulents and flowering plants. The staff was very friendly and accommodating.

For families, the resort offers a kid club called Kidtopia, which is a huge supervised playroom for children 6 months to 12 years old. So while you and your mate head out to workout, or drift to the spa or just chill in your room, your child will have just as much fun as you. They also take care to give kids a little goody box full of healthy treats and toys upon arrival. Our daughter hung tight to her box most of the trip, oh the little things that really do matter.

La Costa has thought of basically everything for a family to have a fun active vacation. Once you get there you likely won’t leave the grounds, as there is a ton of stuff to do. Once you do leave you will likely be back the next chance you get.

The Sex Pack

By: Susan Howard

To be fit, to feel good in your body, you want to stay active in general. What’s the most fun workout ever? Read on and learn how to get the sexiest abs.

Kissing burns 2 to 5 calories per minute, foreplay -95 calories per half an hour, and actual bumping and grinding -150 per half an hour. Where studies get these numbers, I can only imagine. Of course these are estimations, as it depends on the size of the people involved and the vigor of the activity.

There is even an iphone app called a “bedometer” that counts the exact calories burned in bed. I am not sure if you attach the phone to the mattress or where. Warning: If you use this app you might want to hide it from your partner lest they think you are more concerned about your flat stomach than the intimacy you two might share. “Keep going babe; I am almost to my goal weight.”

What does this have to do with fitness? Absolutely nothing and a lot. Beyond the actual calories let’s think about this: sex gets your heart rate up, reduces stress which can lead to over eating, helps you sleep better, and can ultimately get you the sex pack abs.

So what are you waiting for? Grab your partner and get busy. Even if you don’t think you are in the mood, you will be. Just do it.

For you single readers, remember this: If you haven’t got a penny, a hay penny will do. If you haven’t got a hay penny, then god bless you.

Song you must have this instant: Everlasting Love by The Black Keys

Quickie after a Quickie: Veggie Sandwich

Two pieces of whole wheat toast
Thin spread of cream cheese
Sliced cucumbers
Sliced tomatoes
Mustard mixed with a hit of balsamic
One deli slice of cheese and/or avocado
Salt and pepper
Cut in half and share with your better half

Wayward Travelers

By: Susan Howard

Hello all. Fall is coming. Back to school. It doesn’t matter what age you are, late August always means back to school time. Maybe you get some new clothes, clean out drawers, buy a fresh pack of pens, whatever. Perhaps you are getting a bit nervous about what is to come, new faces, teachers, who to eat with at lunch time.

No? Everything this coming September is pretty much the same as the last? What?!

No.

I dare you, no, double dare you to try something you have NEVER tried before. There is something you have always wanted to try, but never let yourself. If you’ve been following my wife’s blog you’ll know she bought me a new scooter. How cool am I? Well, much cooler than ever, now that I have my vanilla-colored scooter (thanks Hon). I have wanted to scoot since I was 9, but got dissuaded because of the obvious skull crush potential.

Here’s what I realized. Scooting is FUN.

What does this have to do with fitness? Well I’ll tell you. If you are an eater out of boredom, instead of eating, get UNbored. For as hard as you may work in the gym, if you are taking in excess calories from stress or boredom you will likely create excess fat on your body. When you take in too much at once the food has no functional use so it stores in your body for a rainy day. But with fridges and bored energy that rainy day never comes, so the fat keeps storing. Cut to our super sized country.

Do it. Try something that interests, even scares you maybe. Next on my life list is hang gliding. It seems the closest to being a bird. Send me ideas about what you want to try. If you want to come flying with me, well I have never done it, but this year I vow to try. Come along. Oh, and bring your helmet.

Tomato Marinara

So tomatoes are in season right now. How do I know? Well I have them growing in my back yard. Alice Waters who?? Yes, she and I are one.

I made marinara from scratch for the first time.

Here we go:

4 tomatoes.
Slice off the yucky top part and sit them in a bit of boiling water for 5 minutes.
Then slice them in half and take off the skins.
Throw them in a blender if you want smooth sauce or chop them up if you want chunky.
Set aside.

Put a pan on medium heat and cover the bottom with olive oil. ​​​

Thinly slice a 1/4 of a red onion and toss in the pan.

​​​​Mince up 4 garlic cloves.
After onions have hung out a bit, toss in garlic. ​ Add salt and pepper, fresh or dried basil, a dash of red pepper flakes if you have some.
Then the stars of the show: tomatoes.

Switch the heat to low and let it cook down.
This is the type of thing that is probably better the day after, so let it cook down as much as time permits.

Here’s the best way to make this dish healthy: Get aggressive with your favorite veggies. I would blanch a ton of broccoli and then throw that in with the pasta. (There is Quinoa pasta for the uber healthy.) Get some cooked chicken from Whole Foods or Gelson’s and add slices of that in at the last minute.

Enjoy, and don’t forget to save the leftovers for your school lunch box.

“Do Wah Doo” by Kate Nash will get your toes tapping.

Buttapalooza 2010

Here we go.

10 minute hill run or walk
2 sets

20 lunges holding weights/ 15 dead lifts with weights (flat back fold then stand up)
2 sets

20 jumps/20 abduction kicks (balance on one leg and kick to side flex foot)

2 sets on the floor on your back

20 butt ups with feet on the floor parallel/20 butt stays up knees move in and out

20 scissor kicks (head and shoulders off floor alternate legs up to the 90 degrees grabbing the back of each leg as it reaches the top)

End with a hip stretch, pigeon pose. From the prone position calf is parallel in front of your body then lay on top of that leg squaring your hips and resting on your forearms, the opposite leg is long and resting on the floor. Do both sides.

Then a forward fold to release the back of your legs.

Ring Ring! School’s out.

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