By: Brandy Black
There has been a debate in our house since Sophia was born. Do we…should we…have another child? We have been back and forth for 22 months and still have come to no real conclusion. It’s a tough decision and everyone always wants to “weigh in” as one of my favorite bloggers put so well in My one and only.
Today, we thought we’d give our daughter a chance to give her input. I asked
“Sophia do you want a brother or a sister?”
“What should we name him?”
My eyes welled with uncontrollable tears.
Let me explain…when I was all of 23, partying and with no good intentions of having children, I had a dream. It was powerful and I couldn’t shake it. In this dream I bore a son and I asked him what his name was and he said “Pen” and I said “P-E-N?” and he said “no, P-E-N-N”. That was it. I had told Susan this story when I was pregnant with Sophia, before we knew the sex. I said if it’s a boy we should name him Penn. She declined emphatically. I told her the story behind it and she didn’t really care. I guess I didn’t care either.
And now Sophia at random chooses this name, what could this mean?
Later this afternoon, after we laughed and cried at the irony of it all, I was shopping with Sophia. My boobs started killing me, it became unbearable and reminded me of “let down” when you’re breastfeeding. For those of you that don’t know what this term means… when your baby begins to nurse, hormones are released that cause your milk to flow. This is called the “let-down reflex”. So here I am in the dressing room with Sophia and my boobs throb, I look down and sure enough I’m lactating!
What a day. My boobs kill, my mind is frazzled and my heart is torn.