By: Brandy Black
I have had a cathartic week that has allowed my heart to settle a bit more than usual. There is heaviness in the world, particularly affecting my family and me. Uganda still rips me makes me ache, I can barely read about it although I know I must. The census report disturbed me because although technically there is a box for me (Wife) and Susan (Wife), we are a part of that batch of “married” people that no one knows what to do with. And what about all those other people who can’t get married, the unmarried Partner box seems so sad and left over. Furthermore Susan filled out the census and therefore had to claim Sophia her adopted daughter because that was her only option. So although Susan is on the birth certificate and is as close to her biological mom as she possibly can be, the term is adoptive parent. I have nothing against adoption, we seriously considered it but Sophia is not adopted. I understand these lines are blurry and the world is moving rapidly but we need the people in charge of these documents to stay with the pulse of the people. If my friend Karen can’t get pregnant by her husband due to sperm issues and she has a donor instead- is her husband now “adopting” their son. These are common circumstances and they deserve terms that quantify them. I am irritated all over again.
So when I sat for an interview with Chelsea, a 16 year old from California and spoke with her about her beautiful, loving life with her 2 dads, my heart lifted. 16 years ago gay marriage wasn’t being discussed, 16 years ago was a bold time to for her daddy to request eggs from his sister so that they could get pregnant and have a child of their own. I sat listening to this sweet, smart teenager telling me that her parents were her best friends and that she felt so blessed to have her family. It made me think that although there is all of this focus on the things that aren’t getting done (which there should be) there are little happy families everywhere living their lives in amazing ways and it’s important to celebrate that too.
When I watched the Oprah interview with Ellen and Portia ( I know, finally!) I was reminded that Ellen DeGeneres is a cover girl and if I heard correctly has made the most money on the “Simply Ageless” campaign. Wow! Think about that! I sat on the couch next to my wife watching a slideshow of intimate pictures from their commitment ceremony on OPRAH! With these subtle changes, it is the mark of success.
*Keep an eye out for my interview with Chelsea regarding her life with her 2 dads and her recent speech at the HRC event.
[photo credit: Flickr member: Project M-A-R-C]