By: Kerrie Olejarz
Throughout this time we had started a blog, a way to chronicle our journey and to share it with others and, one day, with our child. The theme of our blog was becoming depressing! Every post was about doctors slamming their doors in our face. We tried to understand why the doctors here in Canada were shying away from helping us. Was it for ethical, legal, or monetary reasons? This we will never have the answers to.
Sometimes little miracles happen, and we were selected by a higher power to witness one. A woman from the Surrogacy India forum who was in India at this time for egg retrieval, fertilization, and transfer to surrogate read our blog the same day we were frustrated by the family doctor. As she prepped for one of the biggest moments in her life, she took a moment to email her fertility doctor in Minnesota about us. She reached out to him as she knew he was moving to Canada in the very near future and wondered if he would help us. Separately, she contacted me on the private messaging of the Surrogacy India forum and explained that she had done this and gave us details of the doctor, including his email address. Her time was limited as she was preparing for surgery in India, but she made a miracle happen. We were in complete awe of her generosity and that she had taken the time to care about us as she embarked on something so big and so personal.
We emailed the doctor and sent scanned copies of our medical records to him. We were guardedly optimistic; the past was haunting us and this seemed too good to be true. Shortly after sending the email, the doctor responded with the request to call that evening and discuss the situation. Holy smokes! What has happened here? Is it possible that we finally have some support? The plan was in place for a 9pm tele chat. In the minutes before the call, we were anxious. Pen and paper ready to jot down notes of the discussion, television off, phone charged and medical records ready for reference. Shortly after 9pm the phone rang; it was him! Our hearts stopped and I answered the phone to hear a lovely introduction from a man I had never met. He thanked me for sending my records through to him so quickly and asked what it was that we needed from him in order to have a family. This was the first time any doctor had put the conversation into the correct perspective…having a family. I was giving Mark the thumbs up as I chatted to the doctor. I must have been smiling from ear to ear! The doctor took the time to explain the pre-IVF tests, and what day they fall on in a woman’s cycle. After about 35 minutes of chatting he asked where I was in my cycle and, as it turned out, I was about two days away from getting started! The doctor explained what I needed to do right away and whom to call. He promised to let the clinic in Toronto know to expect my call, and also promised to help us have a baby. When we finished the call, I jumped for joy! In a matter of days, we had been touched by two blessings: a wonderful angel in India and an amazing doctor to help us. Mark and I celebrated this together that evening but also knew that the dark cloud that follows us around may appear anytime and that we needed to take this one step at a time.
We quickly informed India that we should now be ready to get started. We also sent an email to our IVF angel thanking her for her help and generosity. How do you thank someone who helped you in such a huge way? On the outside looking in, this was nothing –a doctor –but to us, this was our fate and future. The very next day I called the clinic in Toronto where the doctor would be relocating. They knew immediately who I was when I called and booked me in for the testing the next day. We were very impressed with the doctor, that he had taken action quickly on letting the clinic know to expect a call from us. It was all very surreal.
The next morning, I awoke at close to 5am and readied myself to head to the clinic. At the clinic they did the standard IVF cycle monitoring, blood, and ultrasound. This took less than half an hour. Within a few hours of my clinic visit the doctor had emailed me my test results and all was good; we were finally ready to get started. Again, we were very impressed with the doctor and his openness in communication and speed of delivering results! This also meant we could finally wire our enrollment fee to India…