By: Don Todd
It is always hard to let something go. It is also hard to let someone go. I know this to be true from time to time when certain things come up that I thought was done and behind me. There are times that I think that I have moved forward just to know that it is just under the surface. This past month two of those things have came to the surface and I am trying to figure out what to do with them.
The first was while writing the article about the effects of school bullying. Almost fifteen years later and everything came rushing back. Maybe it was the fact that I was sitting in my parents’ front room not far from that high school that contains memories of my own little piece of hell, or maybe it was thinking that my daughter might some day be in those same hallways. That thought has lead to many sleepless nights the last few weeks. Will my past that I have still yet to move on from affect how I react to my daughter’s struggles in school?
I am not saying that she is going to have any problems in school. BUT, if she stays in the same small town that I grew up in and my husband and I show up for “back to school night” I am just worried for her. There are other options for schools, but they are all private schools sponsored by the churches and I will save that issue for another post. All I know is that I have yet to let go of my painful school experiences.
My husband’s parents have a close friend that just lost her husband to a battle with cancer. They live a few streets from us and I was asked to come over Sunday night to help her with an issue with her car. It’s fun being the only mechanic in either family (sarcasm). After I had everything handled, she was thanking me and telling me how hard it has been without her husband. It reminded me how my grandmother was after my grandpa has passed away. For over six years after that we would call each other every week and “check in”. She was my best friend and losing her was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with.
To form a bond with someone like that and then all of the sudden have nothing is hard to move past. I see how my daughter is with my mother and the bond that they have together. They live not far from each other and my mom watches Gracie during the week. I am amazed at what the two of them have taught each other and how they watch out for the other. Gracie tells everyone that grandma is her “best friend” and that no one rates like grandma and papa. Not even her mother, my husband, or me.
I could not be happier that my daughter has such a connection with my parents, but I have a hard time letting go of how I felt and still feel when I think about losing my grandparents. I don’t look forward to the day (hopefully long from now) that she has to deal with the same.