By Patrice Langford
When I got pregnant with my second son, Jayden, my marriage was already on the rocks and I knew that I was going to have to raise the boys on my own. My ex-husband was going to be of no help as he was unable to hold a job. So I made the decision to have my “tubes tied” to stop me from having any more kids.
During my pregnancy with Jayden, I started to have some problems with my heart. It would suddenly beat fast and I would get faint. Four hours after I gave birth to Jayden, I was wheeled into the O.R. to have my tubal ligation. I had an epidural during my labor and the hospital doctors decided to keep it in and “twilight” me while in the O.R., getting rid of the need to put me fully under.
During my surgery, I remember hearing voices and as time went on the voices grew closer as I was becoming more coherent. I knew where I was so I knew that it was the doctors voices I was hearing. After a while, I started to feel a pain in my chest. It felt like someone had a hold of one of the main arteries in my chest and was pulling it down through my stomach.
I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling and as the pain came back and I said, “Whatever you are doing down there, hurts in my chest. Needless to say I scared the doctors and nurses. That was all I said and the last thing I remember was the doctors jumping because I was awake. Then I was given something and I was out again. The next time I woke up, I was in my hospital room with my baby. I put his hospital bassinet as close to my bed as I could and I fell asleep again.
Four days after giving birth, my grandfather died. He was my world and the one of my favorite people in the world. As I was grieving and crying very hard I could feel that same pain in my chest again. I was too overwhelmed to do anything about it so I just ignored it.
Fast forward a year and a half and I was a divorced single mother of two boys. I was single for a while and did the casual dating thing. However, I never introduced anyone to my kids, as I knew that they were probably not going to be there long because I was picky about the men that I was going to allow around my children. After a while, I knew that I was ready for something more so I joined a couple of dating websites. I met a few guys on there but nothing was too serious or interesting.
I finally met one guy and we started dating. I knew that I was not going to introduce him to my kids until I was sure that he was a keeper, so all of our dates were out of the house and I always met him at the curb. Of course, being adults, things happen and I found myself sick about a month later. I had two kids already so I was pretty sure I knew what was going on even though I couldn’t actually believe it. I went to the store and got a pregnancy test, and lo and behold, I was pregnant. Fearing that it could be Ectopic in the Fallopian tube, I went to the ER where they did a pregnancy test and told me the results. They were a little freaked out when I told them that I had my tubes tied and sent me to have an ultrasound immediately. The ultrasound showed that the baby was in the correct place, my uterus, and was progressing naturally.
I knew that I had a big decision to make and I decided to keep the pregnancy. Around this time we found out that my mother had breast cancer. My children and I lived with her and she had promised to help me with the new baby. While I was pregnant, I experienced the same heart problems I had with Jayden. This happened every day and often landed me in the ER with a heart monitor on. I had a difficult pregnancy due to my heart condition and taking care of my mother and two small children.
My daughter was born in the middle of July. She is every bit a sassy Cancer as anyone. In my immediate family, my daughter was the first girl born in 23 years. She was definitely a blessing and is one of the most interesting kids I know. She is also highly intelligent. She is five and people often mistake her and Jayden for twins because of their height and her maturity level. I tell everyone that she is my mini-me because she looks so much like me, especially when I was little. I also tell people that I “cloned” myself. She started kindergarten this year and I have some anxiety about it. She does, too, but she hides it better than I do.
About a month after I had Skyla, I had heart surgery and a month after that, the doctors went back in to explore and see why I got pregnant and fix it. When the doctor got in there, she found that the doctor that did my previous tubal ligation had used “clamps” instead of cutting and burning them. She also found that one of the clamps was not clamped onto my Fallopian tube. It was clamped onto some other tissue and this was why I was having pain in my chest. As she explored, she noticed a lot of black tissue on and around the Fallopian tube that had the clamp on it the right way. She had to remove this tissue, including one of my Fallopian tubes, because it was all dead and black. Had I not gotten pregnant they would have never found all of the dead tissue and I would have gotten very sick. I later asked why the clamps were used and they told me that it was because of my age. They wouldn’t cut the tubes because I was only twenty four and they thought that I would change my mind. They made that decision without even telling me.
I am so incredibly thankful for my beautiful baby girl. She is amazing and I thank God for putting her in my life. I am thankful to be her mommy. When she was born, my little family felt whole for a moment. She is a very sweet little girl and is constantly telling me that I am beautiful. She is kind and funny and a strong-minded young lady. We are raising her to be a strong woman because this is how I was raised and this is what this world needs.
I always knew that I would have three kids and the three kids that I have made me the mommy that I am today. They challenge me on a daily basis and they fight like cats and dogs but I wouldn’t change a thing.