Last year, Jayden was bullied. It got to the point that I got a call from his school saying that he had threatened to kill himself. My mother and I rushed to the school to pick him up and the school suggested that we take him to an emergency psych evaluation at a facility for suicidal children. When we got the the facility, they had us meet with a crisis counselor. The counselor sat and spoke with Jayden while we sat and listened. He determined that Jayden did not in fact have any intention of hurting himself. He was being bullied and he said the one thing that he knew would make me pick him up early from school. The counselor told us that Jayden seemed happy and healthy and that it is the school that he is having a problem with.
After the meeting with the counselor I realized that I needed to get Jayden out of that environment. We wanted Jayden to know that there is nothing wrong with him and that he is perfect the way he is. We removed him from that school, along with our other son, and changed them to an independent study program. This worked out better for Jayden because he was at home with and being taught by me. He was able to wear girl clothes all day while in the house.
This year, Jayden decided that he wanted to go back to school. His younger sister started kindergarten this year and he said that he wanted to try going to school again. I tried to find him a program or school that is sensitive to what Jayden is going through but I was unable to find one. I was able to find some resources on programs and groups that I think are going to help Jayden.
We live in South Sacramento where Jayden is feared and not accepted. We do not let Jayden wear girl clothes outside because we are fearful that someone will hurt him. People do horrible things when they are afraid of something or someone. After seeing everything that is happening in the news to people who are different in this kind of way, my husband and I are terrified for Jayden. I can’t imagine what these families are going through. We are terrified that Jayden will one day get hurt by someone who thinks that Jayden is not supposed to be here. I am scared that the children of closed-minded people could one day hurt my child because Jayden knows how to enjoy life no mater what others think of you.
Jayden has started back at school this year and we are keeping a close eye on him. We have already had some issues and I am now trying to figure out what would be the best plan for Jayden. We have looked and thought about this so hard that we have even thought about moving to an area that has these schools or programs at schools that are welcoming of Jayden. I know that his school probably has never dealt with this type of situation but that does not mean that my son is going to be their guinea pig on how they handle these students.
I pray on a daily basis. I ask God to help me, to lead me to what I am supposed to do for Jayden and how I can help him more. God has given me some answers and we are trying them out but I still pray because I am lost on most days on how to handle this. Deep in my heart, I feel that Jayden is supposed to be different. I feel that we are doing what we can and what we are doing is right. God made Jayden the way he is and I would be going against my faith if I ddin’t help him and let him figure things out in his own way.
I have been looking for play dates for Jayden to play with other kids that are like him. I know that he feels like he doesn’t fit in with other kids his age and that makes my heart cry. There have been times where Jayden cried in my arms after being bullied for having his nails painted. Then there are other times, even now, where he asks me if he is weird or abnormal because he likes the things he likes. I try to tell him, every time he asks, that God doesn’t make mistakes and he is exactly the way he is supposed to be. I tell him that it is better to be weird than to be normal. Being normal is boring and being weird means you get to have fun and you don’t care what other people think while doing it.
The philosophy in my family is that we are all very different but we are exactly how we should be. We are supposed to be different. If we lived in a world where we were all the same, it would be a very boring planet. Jayden is here to teach love. Unconditional love. He is here to let everyone know that he is different and that is okay.
Moving into this school year, I hope that Jayden will have a better experience this time around. We will continue to guide him as much as we can and I will continue to Google anything that I think may help Jayden have a great childhood. We want Jayden to be a strong confident human being that doesn’t let what anyone says about him, bother him or change him, or make him bitter. We will always stand by him and fight for him.