My son Jayden is a very “hyper” soul. His biological father was diagnosed with ADHD when he was younger. While I was married to him, I only saw him on his ADHD medication a handful of times and when he was on his medication we had a great marriage. As soon as he was off the medication, he would follow me around just to bug me to death until we would fight. He, however, did not like being on his meds and refused to take them . This caused our marriage to fall apart because he was unable to hold a job, he was a terrible father, and he wanted to go out with his friends rather than stay at home with the kids and I. The behavior that this caused is what ultimately ended our marriage. I couldn’t take it anymore and I left with the kids.
When Jayden turned two, he changed. He suddenly was all over the place and into everything. It’s the terrible two’s is what I told myself as I tried to curve this behavior. After that it, it continued and I started to have to call it the terrible threes, and fours until I realized that his behavior was probably not a normal thing. I took Jayden to the doctor and told them what he was doing and what we were going through. I told them that his father has ADHD and that I would like for them to test Jayden to see if he had it. They refused. They told me that he was too young and that this was just a phase and it would pass soon. Well, it didn’t. It actually got worse.
I had all of my kids in daycare at this time and I was starting to get calls about Jayden. He was pushing other kids. He peed in the corner of the room. He would push things on other people, especially the teachers. He would also run around the classroom doing whatever he wanted to do while ignoring everyone who told him to stop. So they would call us to come and get him. It got to the point where the daycare told me that if we didn’t get Jayden some help, then they were going to have to kick him out. They put me in contact with a program for kids having trouble in school or daycare. They would have someone come into the daycare to help and observe Jayden. So on those conditions, Jayden was allowed to go back to daycare.
This program worked for a little while and then Jayden became familiar with the person that was there to help him and once Jayden is comfortable with someone, it’s all downhill from there. Jayden was ultimately kicked out of daycare. I was not bitter because I knew why it happened. I was working at this time and I had to quit my job to be at home with Jayden. My other two children continued to go to this daycare. Since then, things only got worse. Jayden was into everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. We had to keep eyes on him at all times. This was an exhausting feat and we are still dealing with it to this day.
I told myself that I did not want to put Jayden on any medication since he was very young. I told myself that I would try to keep his hands busy and that we could manage this without meds. Things didn’t really change. Jayden continued to be our “little tornado” and for a little while things got worse. Jayden started school. He had a great year in kindergarten and I had high hopes that I may have done it and Jayden was going to be fine. When Jayden went into first grade was when things at school started to be about the same as at home, but his teacher was not prepared for that, so he became frustrated because Jayden would not listen. Eventually, due to bullies, we removed Jayden from public school and enrolled him in an independent study program. We took our other son out of that school also because he was being bullied as well.
Jayden is now seven and I am at my wits end. He is still into everything and he cries all the time about nothing. Jayden is in independent study now and we are going to see where it goes. Jayden is on time out at least twice a day. Lately I have been thinking of putting him on some medication. I have been thinking about this for a very long time and I have finally come to terms with the fact that Jayden might need some medication. I am going to take Jayden back to the doctor and see what we can do to help him.
I want Jayden to have the chance and opportunity to have the education that he deserves instead of being isolated and alone at home until his brother and sister get home from school. I am choosing to put my son on medication so that he can have the life that he wants. I want him to be able to hold a job and provide for himself, and one day, his family. I have tried my hardest to help Jayden, but it isn’t enough and that is why I am getting as much help for him as I can. Going forward I hope that Jayden and I will feel more in control of his actions and his body and I hope that he can live a normal life taking medication. I want him to be happy and I think the only way that he is going to be truly happy is to be able to focus on anything he wants, start to finish.
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