A Fearfilled Gay American Speaks Out.

By Henry Amador-Batten

Dear America,

I am terrified and I am angry and I am coming to terms as to where I should direct those feelings.

I want to blame ALL Trump supporters although that doesn’t seem fair. I could perhaps share my anger with the hate mongers, the clearly racist and bigoted of his followers. The ones that would truly wish my family harm. The ones on the “Trump Train” leaving hatefilled and harassing letters in the mailboxes of people who don’t look like them or think like them or speak like them or pray like them or love like them.

Yes, my anger would live there well, it would fit perfectly and perhaps even stay there, leaving me free of its weight. But I believe ridding myself of the anger would be the easy part.

So I point an obvious finger at the obvious people, the ones with the signs that state their feelings, the ones on the other side of the street from me at a rally or a protest or at parade or even in my neighborhood. The ones with the shirts and the hats that basically say that they want me and my kind gone.

Too easy.

The real battle lies with my fear and my fear is not sparked by the loudest of the most hate-filled. No, my fears are in no small part thanks to the silent supporters. The ones that don’t look scary, the ones that openly love my family and secretly when the curtains were drawn voted for a man that wore the shirt, the hat, the sentiments and the promises right there on this sleeve for all the world to see.

He promised to try to dissolve my marriage. Don’t be fooled by his softening words, he still intends to do so.

He and his like believe that the children adopted by LGBTQ families should be removed from those homes and place with “traditional” families, you know, the nearly extinct ones with only a mother and a father. Don’t be fooled by the idea that that could never happen because they could try and the thought of that alone should cripple you with shame.

The Vice President elect believed that gay couples should have been jailed for applying for an Indiana marriage license, not simply denied, because that would not wound enough, but imprisoned. Don’t be fooled by those that say he has changed. He signed that into existence as recently as 2013. He still feels that way and you voted him in.

He also believes that monies directed to AIDS funding should be redirected to fund Conversion Therapies. Let some Americans go without lifesaving drugs while other Americans are subjected to torture to try to “cure” thier gayness  Shame on you for standing behind those ideas

No, I now realize that my fears are by far what will fuel me the most from this day on. And the only way to rid oneself of fear is to attack it and those that cause it head on.

I am scared and I am angry but I will  never be  silenced by it. The worse can still happen America, history has taught us that. Will you help us? Will you hide us? Will you then stand up for us at the risk of your own safety?

I doubt it but this American, this Gay American, this Hispanic American, this child of immigrants American, this father of children of color American will continue to hold those responsible accountable. And if that means you, then get ready to share in my fear.