By Brandy Black
My wife and I did a Q & A for our YouTube channel answering questions that were sent to us by our subscribers on social media. One of the questions had to do with femme lesbians getting hit on by men. It is a fine line understanding how both sides feel or all three sides if you include the spouse of the person getting hit on. I got hit on in a bar right in front of my wife and she was furious, you can watch the video below to find out. Although I understood her frustration, I also understood that it was probably difficult for him to ask me out and he had no idea I was standing with my wife when he approached me. When we posted the video, a lot of feedback came in from our subscribers. I thought I’d share some of the perspective we got.
I’ve gotten used to aggressive men hitting on me, is a cultural thing in Brazil. So if they don’t take no for an answer I just yell in their faces, and most importantly I am NEVER alone, always have a friend by my side. And NEVER say I’m gay, otherwise I might get beat up.
About a month ago, some guy tried to hit on my girlfriend. She told them she’s a lesbian and he started saying he could change her. Idk how she dealt with it, but I’m pretty sure she was nicer to him than I would have been. I think it really offensive that a stranger thinks he can change something so fundamental about a person.
Susan, just wanted to say THANK YOU for your honest story about your response to this guy in the bar…I totally feel you! Me and my gf were in similar situations and in some I totally snapped too 😉 in my experience, telling them that you are a lesbian often turns them on even more and sometimes even leads to very annoying and disrespectul comments and hassling….we always make sure that we are safe before anything else, but in some situations getting very stern and even aggressive is the only way to make it clear, that we as a couple are not a joke or “his personal sex fantasy'”.
Femme lesbian, just turned down a guy today! I always struggle to know what to say and how to say it when, like you said, they’re often nice guys putting themselves out there for possible rejection. But I’d rather not have to come out, nor can I (or do I want to) say that I’m in a relationship.