By: Ann Brown My sister recently declared that she is going to take more pride in how she dresses. Which is a capital idea so I am going to do it, too. But with one caveat: unlike Karen, I am not going to change how I dress; I am simply going to take more pride […]
By: Ann Brown Well, this was just a matter of time. I have arthritis in my fingers. Great. I need one of those Stephen Hawking voice computers now and I just spent my last thousand dollars on Moroccan Hair Oil and acai berry supplements. Well, maybe it’s not full-blown arthritis; I admit I self-diagnosed. It […]
By: Ann Brown So Claudia wrote a list the other day of all the shit her someday future daughter-in-law will notice about her and find hypocritical. Claudia is a playright and an editor, and coming up with this list probably took her the better part of a Friday. It was a really well-written list. It […]
By: Ann Brown Evidently, Bear Grylls drinks his own urine, were you aware? Now I happen to know for a fact (because Robin said so) that it isn’t a stellar idea to actually drink urine, even if you are dehydrated and especially not just because you lost your car keys and you’re out of Coke […]
By: Ann Brown When the hell are we gonna get this commune going? Am I the only counter-culture hippie left around here to get it together? All I need is 30 acres. And a handful of yurts. Not the traditional yurts, tho; I want the sort of yurts that have peg and groove hardwood floors […]
By: Ann Brown I’m kinda liking Robin lately. And not just because he woke me up yesterday to tell me I was right about the thing we talked about. Although that didn’t hurt. Today I like Robin because he dropped by with a co-worker this morning with a shitload of organic strawberries they bought from […]
By: Ann Brown Fuuuuuck. I lost my blue Mephisto sandal. And my Tacos Del Mar punch card. And the piece of paper onto which I wrote the answer to the secret question that Facebook will ask me in the event that I forget my password. I cannot find a damn thing in my house. I’m […]
By: Ann Brown I have health insurance, thanks to God and the IBEW, but I don’t have a health plan, per se; you know, an actual plan for maintaining my health. Suntanning season upon us, I devote a great deal of time in the sun these days, worrying about melanoma. It’s funny, in a fucked […]
By: Ann Brown Road trip tomorrow. Here’s what I’ve packed: Five books, two magazines, tweezers, a journal, a hundred little envelopes of EmergenC, Tylenol, Say YES To Carrots 15 Minute Hair Mask, two books on CD, Trader Joe’s peanut butter pretzels, non-mushy Braeburn apples, and a bathing suit that I am afraid to try on […]
By: Ann Brown I am patiently waiting for this whole yoga-compost trend to be over. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against compost or yoga; pitching watermelon rinds straight out the kitchen window into the garden is my idea of a good time, and I have no issue at all with stretchy fold-over yoga […]
