Rosy Barren I have lifted myself up from my crippling emotional state enough to brush the past off and move on to the next phase. Our doctor has determined that there is a distinct possibility that I am not able to bear children unless with another’s eggs. Remember that fortune I got? So he has suggested […]
By: Rosy Barren I stayed up all night and watched the sunrise in the morning for the first time in my adult life. My eyes were puffy as I hiked alongside my wife in Griffith Park. I had spent the whole night sobering up and by morning was calculating my next move. The rising sun […]
I’m not pregnant.
By: Rosy Barren I’m in the nail-biting stage of waiting, in limbo, wondering if I will be lucky enough to find out, in 4 days, if I’m pregnant. This is my favorite time, waiting. Although it’s excruciating, it’s a happy time in which there is no bad news and only the possibility of a life-changing miracle […]
By; Rosy Barren I was asked to drink at least a quart of water prior to the procedure to ensure my bladder was full for the transfer. I grabbed a water bottle for the car ride over and figured I’d down it on the way. I was drinking quickly and was nervous, as this whole […]
By: Rosy Barren So my 4 beautiful eggs have now become two tiny perfect embryos. They actually aren’t so perfect in technical terms; they are a “C” and a “B”. Without giving too much information that would bore you, they grade your eggs, “A” being the healthiest and strongest. So, I’m happy that I have […]
By: Rosy Barren Today I lay recovering from my retrieval. I’m happy to report that I didn’t feel or remember a thing. I woke up with my partner and my doctor by my side only to find out that they retrieved 4 eggs. This was a bit of shock coming from having 11 follicles. Well […]
By: Rosy Barren Today I went to the doctor because I’m now starting another attempt at IVF. I was very nervous walking into the office, as every experience leading up to today has been one failure after the next. I was ready for another cancelled cycle. I was trying to be positive, I even got […]
By: Rosy Barren In looking at my year, it’s been nothing but a lot of disappointment and unfortunately I chose to give in to those failures and let them define me. I have allowed my life to become an obsessive cycle revolving around having a baby. In 2010 my goal is to focus on my […]
By: Rosy Barren I went to Chinese food tonight and got this fortune. “Not all soil bears good things, be practical”. I’m broken. photography by Lynn Mutchler
